princess in training

2008-05-10T09:24:00.001+08:00

wow. this has all been worth it. all the efforts have been worthwhile. everyhting that we;ve done has been worth it. everything that we've gone through has been wothwhile. nothing can ever replace the sense of achievement and satisfaction one gets from the successful completion of a concert. just like what has always been advocated in economics theory, the mandate is often based on what you cna deliver. well anbyway anyway my point is yay! we've succeeded and yes! (: ubber sense of satisfaction and completion!!! i feel like a whole person again. i really have no complaints (: well, i might not have as much happiness felt by him, but with all that, this is good enough.

all thanks to comm for standing by one another, believing inourselves and one another when the going gets tough. i dont know what will happen from this point onwards, but i choose not to think of anything negative (: just gratitude and thankful for the support they have given me, like xinjun always really nice of him to send me smses of those sort. sometimes it's really those simple things that really touch others! jiawen n agatha for being tolerant and ever-so-patient, kaiyin n chun for all those fun and blabbering times (: comm's great (:

OOOH. CHOREO IS GREAT. CHOREO TEAM IS GREAT. CHOREO TEAM MEBERS ARE AMAZING. CHOREO IS GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT! YAY! bryan, xinjun, germaine, bojun, amanda and dear jingliang! (:

oh haha anw i still remember the first time i saw mstan at xinni's house! that was omg so long ago but she's prettier now! hahaha and i will never forget the omg-shock-of-my-life thought that came to me when they introduce Miss Serene Tan during morning assembly to join the tj staff family. i was frantically trying to sms xinni, asking her if i actually got her friend wrong or something cos it just never cross my mind that my cousin's friend whom i saw eons ago when i was like in primary school or sec1 is now in tj AS A TEACHER. hahaha. but anw i really like her voice! i think she is really cool, esp with her dressing!

to the choir, i think they have worked v.hard and it hasn't been easy for alot of them. i truly sincerely appreciate the effort put in and am grateful for those who have helped and supported me all these while! (remember MM Lee's quote haha) this concert wouldnt have been successful without all your hard work. i really really thank you guys (: you have made this one of the best memories i can ever have in my 4 years here.

wednesday mstham said something that really really got into me ever since and i think they are really powerful words. i know she has said this like gazillion times in my 4 years here but now they are even clearer to me!she said something about doing your own part and not care/bother about anything else, as long as you know your stuff- it's like how we sing on stage! man 4 years over alrdy, just like that. i think i will miiss singing under her. i will miss singing!!! i will miss choir!! ohman. they have given such good memories all these 4 years. i still remember the first time i stepped into choir room and i saw mr chung talking to the choir n he auditioned me together with mrcheng! omg so crazy and nerve-wrecking!! hahahah i thought mrchung sings rather well! okay anw yeah, ohman shaowei's batch then daniel's batch then andrea's batch then my own batch. so many batches ive watched come and go. ahwell. it's inevitable to have ups and downs, like in every batch i'll go through different things and experience, but looking on the positve side, they have made me stronger and ive learnt alot through these experiences. like in year one, it was omg so hard to cope with the weird and late timings n school work and transition and adpating to new environment n talking/communicating with those 4 yrs older seniors n stuff like that. ohman. but luckily it was fun, even though things were tough! (: i just feel that to be able to do something that i love so much and learn things from it at the same time is really something im quite sure i wont be able to do so after i leave JC. the passion and love for singing and performing is so strong that it will get me going even when times are tough. it's like singing and performing is something for me to look forward to even when like the whole world is going to collapse, something like earlier. hahaha. man! life without choir!omg cant believe and imagine!

was talking to guangster ytd night and somehow i felt much more comforted after that (: hahaha. before i end off, yes to my dance partner this year-bryan!!!! HAHA, we're cool! although like always noob, but i enjoy dancing and performing with you! :D im really going to miss it!

and finally lastly, it's been a good concert, reflections 9- Grease will always be a part of me wherever i go! thanks to all who has put in the effort to come down! btw i really really love the flowers! omg i couldnt stop admiring and staring at them the whole weekend, esp the bouquet of pink rose and white daisies (my mum thinks that i am crazy) but really they're all so pretty! looking at them makes me happy! plus all the other pretty little roses in pink wrappers and all! :DD

newpriority now after choir is over - study! and get those As and the scholarship!!

2008-05-08T22:43:00.002+08:00

well well, to-mor-row is THE DAY!
the day we've worked so hard for, the day we've been waiting for. i just want to say that, all these while no doubt has been tough, but i know it'll all be worthwhile in the end. i know i have done my best, and there are limits to what i can do, as long as they're the right thigns, i will be able to say that the last yr here has been fulfilling and ive contributed. (:
ANYWAY, im sure my fellow choirmates will do their best tomorrow, i know they will. (: today's prac has been one of the best and im keeping my fingers crossed everything will be okay tomorrow. i have faith it'll be!
time really flies, it's like, ohman, 4 years in tjchoir, 4th concert alrdy, so many things have happened, i dont exactly know how i'll feel tomorrow. tears of joy? haha. sometimes, memory is the best thing in life. i'll never forget the first year i had the concert, shaowei's batch was really cool. and now like so fast! my own batch. every yr ive been telling people like haiya, i still have so many years in choir, can get to do more fun stuff! then wow! 4 yrs's up! omgomgomgomg. let's just put in our best and enjoy ourselves and rock the concert hall down. (:

2008-05-06T22:38:00.002+08:00

Ohman. they're really good!

*thinks to myself* but we must jiayou! n we can do it!

3 more days!!!!!!ohmygosh

lala

2008-05-06T05:43:00.001+08:00

2008-05-05T22:38:00.002+08:00

i just read this book and the thing is that sometimes it's so easy to say things without really truly understanding the actualy meaning behind it? like the word "like" can have so many meaning; you LIKE her as a friend; to your LIKING; you LIKE him as a boyfriend; you would LIKE to try it out.see how complicated justa simple word can be? the same goes for life and reality i guess. it's like how they say even married couples of over 40 years can still never be able to fully understand the other party? because we're made different. if that's the case, what's more for friends and just acquaintance? well, one can argue that if only everyone else agrees on this particular issue, lets say protecting the environment for example, there won't be any need to do any campaigns alrdy!after all, everyone knows they have to and will carry out actions to do so.
mrtong reminded me about this statement MM Lee made before, think he said something about having 60% of the votes will be more than suffice to continue ur term and show ur popularity. if he the saint of singapore says so, then it really must mk sense la,though im not saying what he says is always true. so hence, i believe

anyway just came home from choir. mentally v.tired. since things have been going through my mind nearly every second since i woke up at 2am. it's now somehow a different feeling. oh well, i guess sometimes you can never predict what's going ot happen the next moment, like my favourite song: if tomorrow never comes (if tomorrow never comes, would she know how much i love her? tell that someone that you love, just what you're thinking of, if tomorrow never comes). i might just die suddenly, or later or tomorrow due to various reasons? maybe electrolyte imbalance, uber lack of sleep, stress, worry. haha. but hm doesnt this raise a very interesting qns? the qns that what and how exactly are you going to spend the last 24 hours of your life? i bet if i die like later, i'll probably die in regret because ive just lived the last 24 hours of my life torturing myself. while the image in my mind is to enjoy the cool mountain breeze, drink tea, and be with my loved ones. man, maybe sometimes to get a good shock of you dying tmr,can turn your life around. i mean, im qute sure many people will also be living their lives in regret esp in the 24 hrs cos they might have been doing things that are not worth doing. saying things that are not worht saying. wasting their time away etc. there are so many reasons for you to live in regret. but so few reasons? hm though overall, i wouldnt exactly consider myself to have live in vain/waste because i think ive led a rather fulfilling and exciting life. haha esp with all those crazy things that ive done, like bungee jump, parasailing, windsurfing, kickboxing, ballet, learn harmonica, flute, run like crazy, basically doing things that are not me. but i would love to tour the world, or at least travel and backpack in europe before i die. damn i cant rmber where i left my list that i created like 2 yrs ago on the things that i have to do before i die. when life gets depressing, sometimes thinking about such things can help, because you'll realise that you have so many more things that you want to do before you kill yourself. so that kinda postpone the depression. ohwell, it's been a long long journey.. 4 more days to the big day. im nervous/stress/excited. ahhhh,

2008-05-03T23:05:00.003+08:00

it's been a long day. a very long day. one thousand and one thoughts came to my mind. i'm lost/confused/sad/disappointed. with myself? with the other people? why do i always feel that although i dn ask for people to say it out loud, people somehow dn appreciate what ive done? well maybe it's just from my point of view, but it hurts, it hurts so badly deep down inside even if i sometimes don't show it. why? why? why does this always happen to me? all of a sudden, whatever that ive fight for for so long seems pointless. i dont long or yearn for recognition, because i know this is my passion, but the very least i can ask for is at least not to turn the knfe around and point it back at me. it's been bugging me for so long. i really try hard not to compare, but why? why do other people seem to be getting more of everything, care, concern? just take the example of birthdays. it's not to say im unhappy and disappointed about how others treat me or tk mybirthday (for example), but the innate human nature to compare sometimes gets over me and it just kinda somehow makes me feel like im kind of a lone person, where other people dont exactly care as much, even for the people i consider as 'close'. has the definition of 'close' been just a one-sided one? like in reality, these people dont consider me as their 'close' friend after all? has it come to a point whereby it's just because it's me that people dont care anymore? all these thoughts keep haunting me throughout the day. ive been trying to understand and refrain myself from getting such thoughts but an earlier sms somehow kind of triggered this whole thing again.

i know it may be because it's how and what i do, that results in all these. maybe i have been too gullible into thinking and believing in the ideals. maybe ive been doing the wrong things, mayb if i havent put in so much into all the things ive done/into friendships, when they somehow seem to disappoint or fail the ideal picture that i have painted in my mind, i wont feel as much a pinch as now. sometimes, maybe it's my fault for being / trying to be the best. maybe it would have been better off if ive just been like any other normal people with a bit of the slack and dont-really-bother attitude, so that i wont suffer as great an impact when all else fails. i think ive comeso far, but now it seems eternity away. for now, i dont even ask for any hint of appreciation; as long as everything goes well and please dont point the knife at me.

2008-05-03T00:12:00.002+08:00

GRRRRRRRRRRRR. WHAT IS THIS.

i really dont understand why!!!!! like, urgh. urgh. urgh. she's weird. crazy. weird.

2008-05-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

heeeeello. choir again. (:

physics test was hahaha. but i really cannot be bothered considering the fact that caring about choir is now my full time job, not student. hahahah. well, today's prac was ok? the first choreo was rather horrendous!omg totally malu-ed ourselves in front of ms tham! think she thinks that we're reeeally lousy ): ohman, im really worried! really really really worried! sometimes it seems like telling someone to 'enjoy' what they are doing is 100000000 times harder than asking them to hate what they are doing. maybe it's just me, but is performing such a difficult thing to enjoy?i dont understand! man performing on stage must be one of the best thing on earth! it's like omg, imagine all the eyes on you, and you just doing what you like and showing and telling others your story. sigh, think im worrying too much? i dont know, im just kinda nervous about it? especially since our performance fluctuates like mad. tell me, byt this time next week, i'll probably be like (IHOPE)feeling extremely happy and having a great mega sense of achievement yet at the same time nostalgic since its the last concert. haiya maybe i should just let it be and dont worry so much since it's not my concert after all. i one person how to make it a miracle? lol. maybe with the help of my wand and tiara. HAHAH. am i delusional or living in lala land or what man? anyway talking about handing over, i kinda will really really miss all the crazy stressful choir days? though i cant wait to hand over as well! (ironic right) haiya, what to do? like omg As coming! less than 170days!i dont know, but i think i have a rough plan of the new comm? it seems like only yesterday that i became the president. man, one year sure does pass by real quickly. it wont be long till i return as an audience for their concert next yr. OMG. wait i should be worrying about NEXT WEEK'S CONCERT! AHHHHHHHH. i reaaly really really really really want it to be reaaly good. keep fingers crossed.

anw some people think we are so stupid as to believe him that he's sick? come on, get real man. if im so stupid, i wouldnt be here. gosh, does he take us as gullible 3 year-olds? i sure do hope he's out of concert. urgh. i hate it when people tell lies covering up for something they think they've done wrong and still dont want to admit it. i DESPISE IT. seriously. i'd rather you admit and say the freaking truth. IS IT SO HARD TO JUST TELL THE TRUTH? well, cos if it is, that just pretty much tells us that you yourself is guilty, you're guilty of doing something that you think shouldn;t be done. ohwell, i cant be bothered anymore. i just hope one day you'll get your retribution for doing all these wrong things now. eat your dessert man.

ahhhhhhhhhh concert concert concert! concert is all that i can think of! CONCERTT!!!! ahhaha maybe i should go get myself a bouquet of really nice daisies/sunflower on the day of the concert to cheer myself up. hahaha sunflowers and daisies are happy flowers! everyone should love them! (:

2008-04-30T22:46:00.003+08:00

ohmy there are still people reading this mosquito den.hahahah.

totally didn't go school today, bleh caught annoying flu bug+depressing throat pain. but i still went for choir! i think i really can make singing in a choir my full time job (or at least something to do with singing). i really really really really really really really wanna like stop school from today until concert's over and do choir full time. bleh i dont even want to study for physics test on friday! anw choir today's been urm, okay? well maybe miss tham's here, miraculously yasa was not as terrible as we thought it would be. ohwell, concert's next week! omgomgomgomg. it's so near (the date i mean) yet so far (our standard/performance). sometimes it gets so irritating and saddening that people dont seem to put in as much effort/dont realise the importance/significance of what next week means.

i feel kinda sad watching this person change, from really close to like near strangers who somehow dislikes each other? i wonder if it's my fault that it turned out like this? the tension felt during practice?gosh i feel sad. ):

i want a tiara and a wand! (: to save the choir!

2008-04-26T22:10:00.002+08:00

Dear blog,
WwwwOW! omg i can't believe i am, LIM YEE CHUIN IS, SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER COMPUTER BLOGGING AFTER 100000000 YEARS. HAHAHAHA. i doubt anyone reads it now anyway but whatever la! i suddenly really felt like blogging because like a thousand things/feelings are running through my head now.

context: just came home from guitar concert + concert in less than 2 weeks' time + there is still school(tests).

while i was watching the concert, i had this whole gush of feelings coming over me. suddenly i felt like i'm one of the performers on stage, totally experiencing what they are feeling at that moment. the anxiety+nervousness+enjoyment+happiness+proudness+sense of accomplishment+(many other adjectives). ohman, and suddenly i felt so nervous for my own concert in 2 weeks' time! like how i will not be able to sleep the night before and for that whole week + how i just want to pon all lessons and put all my energy into choir and the concert and nothing else. god, im scared+worried. i'm scared that i havent done enough, im scared that i havent done my part well as a president, im scared that i'm the one who'll bring the concert down. gosh im really scared. then again, sometimes i wonder i've done enough such that they understand what i've done and what i'm doing? (i know ive tried and have been trying to put in my 110% into choir, sometimes i think to myself, i don't care if they appreciate and know what and why im doing all these, all im asking for is to let the concert be a great one. - though of course i wouldnt mind at all if they'd like to present me with one cute little tiara after concert or carve a statue of me of sort :p HAHAHA) -sidetrack, yes blog, im dreaming- but anyway, yeah, i mean like gosh after four years, four years has been such a longtime. It's funny how you feel so old, how you've seen so many batches come and go, learn from all the past mistakes of the previous batches and yet at the same time, wondering if you've ever made the same mistakes as they did in the past. and pfoof, it's the last concert. i wonderhow empty suddenly i'll feel when everything's over. how the past four years, i ve worked and waited for this very day, to finally plan and organize this last concert of mine. gosh. ohman. even as im tying this, i already feel like crying. ohman. dear blog, do u think they know?
ohwell, it's in 2 weeks' time only! hang in there lim yeechuin!

2007-12-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

hello dear ky, im just trying not to think about it.

caroling;s over. last singing session of the year? ohwell, i dont really have any mood to do or write anything. sometimes, sacrifices dont come cheap but the other party just doesn't know. just, oh well nevermind. photos for u guys to download (:

hm after uploading the photos, think have something to say. i really enjoyed going out with u guys, it's been like one of the best nights out for me la. and it does warm my heart that there's actually a grp of ppl out there who cares and helps. thank you. (: i still have ALOT more photos. so if u guys want the rest, tell me.

happy boxing day anw (:

2007-12-22T21:50:00.000+08:00

caroling at marina sq! (:
last 2 pics taken by people who 'abused' my pink baby! tsk tsk tsk hahahha

caroling (:

2007-12-15T11:02:00.000+08:00

okay guys, im blogging because of one main reason: to upload the pics so that i do not have to email it to everyone! :D hahaha! aannnyway, caroling's been alright, nicest part would be the post-carol dinner and hanging out! 2 days ago we went to support guangguang! cos he's performing for the piano ensemble at esplanade, and like we're totally freeee so we decided to be nice and go watch. It was kinda hilarious actually seeing guang and his twin brother playing together! haha but guang was nice too, he came and support us ytd!
guang looked so serious/in pain while playing lor! haha

mod dear came to watch us too!
dinner at 10pm at thai express @ raffles city! gosh the food took like one million years to come -.- juntao was being super annoying with that idiot cube thingy. urgggggh!!! gosh
juntao acting serious, km acting cute -.- (what's new man) HAHAH

and im having this whole nail polish craze, not that i dont have it last time, but suddenly im buying colours like nobody's business -.- aiyar whatever, sch reopens cant do it anymore, only on toenails! ytd went The Face Shop with kaiyin and i bought a shiny purple one! then after aerobics i went to buy bright orange HAHAHA. havn't used it though, just changed it to pinkish dark red so probably will change only next week. it's soooo time-consuming doing it. haiya :D ok next week another session at marina sq and xmas eve at sentosa! (:

2007-12-13T15:42:00.000+08:00

fundraising team!
room-mates!
im biased, the 2 kids im hugging are the ones i like :p
and she is totally my no.1 fav girl! she's so so cute!

Hi people!I totally did not move blog or disappear from earth :D i just, hahha disappeared from blogspot. Anyway alot has happened the past few weeks since i last blogged la, guess i'll just briefly talk about them (if i feel like it). So yes recently, hm after i came back, life's been pretty good, well (boring in a way) slack, very slack i would say, but ahah i kinda enjoyed it. Haven't really been feeling so relaxed and happy and carefree for such a long time. (: haven't really started on work yet but i dont really care, im really like enjoying myself alot now. ahaha. yes yes, yeechuin has found her new favourite movie, the best movie she has ever watched to date. the soundtrack is also very very very good. (: watching the movie and listening to the soundtrack makes me want to cry, it's so touching. well i know some of you will say it's really the typical cheesy disney fairy tale kind of show (and i do agree with you) but whatever! I love it and it makes me happy, and i mean REALLY HAPPY. I watched it 4 times (in the cinema, dont roll your eyes) and everytime it's like the first time im watching it! totally find myself laughing and crying at the different parts, like ive never watched it before. It makes me feel like im a little kid once again, just like how i felt when i watched all those disney movies when i was young. like what KM said, "happiness with a twinge of longing and regret". makes me so happy, so dreamy until everytime im out of the cinema, i'll be in this dancy and dreamy mood, with the soundtrack playing in my mind, but but it also makes me want to cry. So currently my favourtite song is "So Close" by Jon Mclaughlin, (he's cute!) "a certain boyish but rugged charm" -as what KM said (again -.-, he has this thing with words that always seem to be able to put all emotions and feelings so perfectly in words -.- hahaha). He looks so omg-charming in the show! Anyway, i just suddenly dont feel like watching any other movies, i'd rather spend the money on enchanted again and again and again. :D heh i wouldn't mind the enchanted dvd/soundtrack as xmas present! hahahah. ah well, fairy tales always seem to have this certain power on me, sad thing is, well, this is reality. fairy tales, and the lovey-dovey version of love only happens in fairy tales. Isn't it sad? I don't understand why must things be so complicated someitmes? why can't it be like the fairy tales? where everyone lives happily ever after? ohwell, http://www.mtvtop.net/music/408/408825.htm this is a link to the song "So Close", currently waiting for this person to email me the song! couldn;t find it anywhere ): so those who has not watched the show, go watch it ok! ((:

Yup so had caroling yesterday, today and tomorrow, next week 20th and on the 24th. and ahah i love my pink cutsie baby!(: ok hm i should be going soon, gotta prepare for caroling! (:

2007-11-09T01:17:00.000+08:00

Omg this week is love! went to watch Rockapella and omg Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

Rockapella is real good. And i seriously mean REALL GOOD. There's this song called People Change, and ohmygosh i nearly just melted, cos the way they sing it was so touching and emotional, made me just wanna cry man. California Sad Eyed Girl is another really nice song too. Plus their 'dance moves' and talking and basically just everything, makes the whole concert really enjoyable! I got their signature on the poster which is hanging in my room!! :D

Just came home after watching Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with wenshan! It's sooo NICE AND CUTE AND FUNNY, TOTALLY WORTH THE MONEY AND TIME AND ENERGY! I think it's even nicer than phantom with the super colourful and cool set (like the CAR) and cute dance moves! But it's rather sad that they had to shorten the musical, compared to the movie, if i didnt watch the movie, i would really give it like 10/10 (cos they actually changed a little of the script to reduce the time required). omg i love the candy scene! it's sooooooooooo cutee! And there were sooo many little kids watching the musical la! they r just so lucky! when we were so young we didnt have the luxury to watch such shows in Singapore one lor! ): But neverrrminddddd, at least i still get to watch now, just that im a BIG KID NOW. Aiya whocares, child at heart, im forever 10. HAHAHAHA. I totally cant wait for another musical to come to Singapore man!\

musical is love love love. Ballet is going really well too! Love the lessons even though it;s getting increasingly tough, wearing the leotards, tights and shoes made me feel elegant and elongated (haha the second one doesnt seem that erh correct but whatever!). Aiya should have started earlier man. but anyway, hahaha im loving ballet alot alot (: Ah the chitty chitty bang bang song is stuck in my head now! :DD

2007-11-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

guess what! PW is over! :D and im so proud of my group! :DD

yayness!

2007-11-05T00:08:00.000+08:00

hm did i just disappear from earth for a long time?? hahhaa

ohwell, recently found more love in writing journal again, kinda stopped for a yr though. they r much much more personal n u dont hv to worry abt what others will think of u...

it's the hols now, i feel pretty much more organized and more relaxed in a way, since there's not much of a school stress. but i still have to wake up really early everyday. my sleeping hours arent really more than that of during sch term. ): nonetheless, i dont know, i think im pretty much relaxing more and enjoying myself more even though im like studying and doing normal sch stuff. i cant belive next monday im like flying off to yunnan already, it's really fast! im not really very prepared actually ): iove got more work to do

2007-10-21T13:00:00.001+08:00

URGFH.

2007-10-19T00:33:00.000+08:00

Okay stupid pw. i keep haivng this bad image of my grp doing badly and not getting A in my mind.

Im getting paranoid, but then again, who isn't when WR submission is TOMORROW?!!!

i have 4 ulcers in my mouth, i wonder how am i going to open my mouth tmr!

i m going to have 4 flu jabs tmr. I wonder how am i going to hold things after that esp during choir need to hold scores. AND I AM AFRAID OF SYRINGES. SAVE ME. HELP.

btw nearly 15 mins of ballet just doing plie is enough to kill me. i wonder how im going to survive next week when it's intensive 1hr. ohmygosh.

I WANT TO SLEEP. SHOP. GO OVERSEAS. GET MY BLOODY As.

PW is not my cup of coffee.

PLEASE GIVE ME MY A FOR PW.

*AAAAHHHHH*

Donut Factory!

2007-10-12T21:34:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha! Donut factory visit number2! haha, kongmeng and i decided to go queue donuts for fun but anw it's because firstly it's his first, secondly he wants to eat donuts, thirdly, i also felt like queing just for the sake of queing. HAHAA. Initially i actually didnt really feel like eating donuts, so just go queue for fun. Ah when we approached the shop, OMG there's this super delicious smell floating around which made me hungry and gave me this omg-i-just-want-to-eat-a-donut feeling! AAh so i ended up buying 6 (cos i thought i really shouldn't be greedy) and km bought 12. The next time im so going to try SummerHouse Donut shop at burlington square, near Bugis OG. :D maybe next week??? hahaha, but cos earlier thought cancelled alrdy so told my friends couldnt buy for them, anw i only had enough to buy 6, so couldnt buy for them as well. BUt i promised them i'll help them get the next time! :D so kerry! i will get u urs maybe next week! (:

Hm it's been a long week. have i said this before? Anyway yes it's a long week.

Decisions, decisions, decisions, time to make decisions, it's always like this isn't it. I shouldn't waste any more time, move on and be concise in my thinking! chop chop! hahaha

hm i think im very random today. very very random. Anyway somehow i feel that there's kinda this communication barrier (invisible one) which might be because of me. I may not know the exact reason, but i feel detached and distant? it's abit like we;re just two entity leh. oh well, im starting to feel the "i-dont-see-a-point" feeling. im running away from it again, bad. i shouldnt. can i face you?

whatever. i kinda like donuts actually.

2007-10-12T00:51:00.001+08:00

Been reflecting and thinking alot, somehow when you feel like being alone, a nice breezy park seems to be the best place, or walking along the streets alone, looking at the vehicles that pass by, people at the various locations, even just staring at the road signs, they all somehow seem to be able to make you feel better? i Don't know, but this was what i felt. Like on monday, kinda dejected and very demoralised by results that i walked all the way from school to katong area, took me like more than an hour? But i felt it was quality time with myself! Ah well, then yesterday was cool! initially went there alone, but saw my ACS friends, so we started talking (looked kinda weird) After that, KM came over to ifnd me then wwe mourned and talked about stuff. the sky omg-ly turned into purple!

And who knows, i might end up queing for donuts (again( tmr with KM!

2007-10-10T09:22:00.000+08:00

Sigh. Just leave me alone. Nothing can help. I'm going to just block myself out for a moment. Just leave me alone.

Promos Over?

2007-10-01T21:20:00.000+08:00

Hey sigh i dont know, like promos are FINALLY OVER (yes finally) but i somehow don't feel the happiness and excitement that comes along with the end of exams. I just feel that hm, i didn't do well, yeah i know that i didn't exactly did my very very best with like the usual chionging and mugging like mad, ARGH i've lost my thoughts.

- 100 years later -

i have tons of things to write, but i dont know where to start. sigh i'll just get the first thing off, things that i gotta do during the holidays:

1) Ballet Class
2) Voicebeats
3) Yunnan OCIP
4) Bake stuff (who wants to do it with me? (: )
5) 'Trekking"/"Backpacking" trip
6) Gym/Amore classes
7) Study
8) Read 5 Books min
9) Able to complete 10km at least per run
10) Play guitar
11) Go to some where nice and quiet and reflect
12) Volunteer (perhaps at botanical gardens/mental hospital?)
13) Watch Chitty-chitty Bang-Bang!!!
14) Watch Rockapella's concert!!! (:
15) Reorganize my Greenie Zen
16) Paint my room
17) Sleep
18) Get more money (work)
19) ------
20) -------

ok falling asleep :p

2007-09-29T17:56:00.000+08:00

Omg i can't believe myself. Im sucha complusive shopper! omg omg i just spent like 150bucks straight from my wallet buying facial masks for whitening, for after-sun treatment, for this for that and herbal tea that supposed to aid digestion and slimming??!(though i really doubt so, just bought it because...OHMYGOSH I ALSO DIDNT KNOW WHY I BUY IT). omgomgomg i think my mum's going to kill me. But HHAHAH it feels quite good? Im such a bad girl. I have like tons of facial masks by neutrogena, garnier, activa, SKII, watsons omg. AND I HAVEN'T FINISHED OR EVEN STARTED USING SOME OF THEM AND I JUST BOUGHT ANOTHER SET BY CORTRY- this quite popular brand that apparently uses herbs and aloe vera. *wonder if it'll work* but AH I NEED MONEY. DOES ANYONE KNOW OF ANY JOB THAT I CAN DO? hahahaha. But really if u have any, TELL ME! hahahaha omg im going broke just spending on facial and health products??! I just spent like 40 on this herbal slimming tea 2 weeks ago?? and i also havent fnished the tea. AAAHHHHI WANNA SCREAM.

2007-09-27T22:07:00.000+08:00

One more to go.

Haiya seriously man, sometimes i think if i just disappear also no one will notice? Bleagh, and besides, sometimes not that i dont wanna sleep, i just can't sleep la kongmeng. and the thought of me "pooof" and vanish into thin air did cross my mind before. ARH WHATEVER MAN. I hate math, maybe i should have been like a full arts student of something. AH. ):

Anyway, i wonder if it's my everchanging pattern but i found a totally new hobby/interest/fad(as my parents call it) and it's ballet! DO NOT ROLL YOUR EYES OKAAAY. hahahahha. im going to take it up! (: if anyone knows any good place to go to, please tell me!

btw i think my diet has failed cos of the late night studying then hai,will get super hungry. neveeermind, after exams, i can concentrate more and definitely will do better.

one more to go. one more.

2007-09-21T21:09:00.000+08:00

HAHA. If i didnt blog today, i bet it'll be 5th OCT. Ahaha.

Anyway, i can foresee this yr's promos as SCREWED. But the weird thing is, i dont feel as stressed or even worried, when im like lagging behind and slacking n wasting so much time. Bleagh must have been too stressed out during the other times of the year so thats why now no motivation to chiong and do well. Ah whatever, i just hope i do okay, esp looking at how much im studying right now. Ahahahaha. WHATEVER LA.

Anyway, im here to declare war with my bad eating habits. I used to stop eating after 7pm like last year and the year before, then this year OMG BAD BAD BAD, i will still eat at like 9pm or even MIDNIGHT because i got hungry while studying and i sleep so much later so easier to get hungry. then ew, FATS, UNHEALTHY FATS. i bet i must have like gained some extra fats somewhere which is unnecessary and totally RUBBISHY cos of me eating when im hungry at night. GOODNESS. i look and feel fat. Whatever the case, i am going to stop this stupid/unhealthy bad habit and stop eating main meal at 7 (unless have to stay in sch or got things on). after that can only eat fruits. bAH i feel fat, esp not exercising as frequently as normal. crap. Neveeeerrmind, roxanne has kindly agreed to go for amore again this year end! YAY which means----> WE CAN GO WORK OUT TOGETHER AGAIN! (: whee! i miss those days when i can like chiong kickboxing, then aerobics then treadmill then weights then finally dance class continuously! hahah okay im like mad, but no matter what i am so going to get rid of the unhealthy toxins in my body through the late night snakcs in the past. gotta change the bad habits now, or never. :D hahaha. hm i just found out eating yoghurt on an empty stomach can help to prevent you from overeating later! that is like so cool, im so not going to eat my yoghurt after my meals, which makes me feel bloated anyway.

HAIYA OFF TO STUDY NOW. (finally).pictures of yun nan update after promos. OH after promos i HAVE SO MANY TO-DOS! (: well, provided i do well, or reasonably okay i guess. ah i miss singing.

2007-09-01T22:48:00.001+08:00

back on the 5th! (: ahahaha

VOICEBEATS IS LOVE! HAHA :D

2007-09-01T00:56:00.000+08:00

Pretty pictures! haha sorry guys, not all uploaded but i think should be 80%? AND BE GRATEFUL THAT IM UPLOADING :p

Voicebeats is love (:

Wahaha we sang at Conrad Contennial Hotel today! At St Andrew's Mission Hospital's Fundraising Dinner held at Conrad's Ballroom! Ohmy it's damn cool la! hahaha! Initially the atmosphere was soo tense and proper and quiet, evryone was so prim and proper - female behaving like how a lady should and guys to gentleman: talk softly, no phones, pay attention (or at least try to talk softer and more conscious of themselves. But things got lighter after the performances kicked in. Aah St. Margaret Primary school's choir soo cute!! i totally miss singing in a primary school choir man! aaahh. hahaha then after their performance, it's ours! omg i was so panicky then lor ): and not even prepared to sing the first song! aaahhh! Haha okay la though there were some funny/weird parts, we had fun and enjoyed ourselves and really not bad for the work considering the amt of time we spent on it！so yay! (: let me post a lot of the pictures we took there. HAHA. KONG MENG, IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE HERE, YOU BETTER SAY IM NICE.

2007-08-28T22:11:00.000+08:00

Wahahaha. Okay Kong Meng is nice. :D (please be honoured :p)
This guy here actually accompanied 2 girls to go shopping for cocktail dresses and was actually standing there for about 30mins just waiting for us to try on and decide. Oh boy, yin and i sure did felt very bad! But ah well, GIRLS what. Hm he sure did sometimes give rather helpful comments though, well at least helped us to kinda decide on which one looks better. HAHAHA.

okay. ohmans like 30 more days to you-know-what. sian. damn shant complain. and ah. i should get going. (:

i should go shopping soon after promos! haha *evil thought* but shant publicise it. hahahaha (:

Maybe.

2007-08-26T09:27:00.000+08:00

Thank you everyone for making that possible (:

I guess it's a real great learning experience for me, in terms of learning how to deal with PR-related problems and yeah touching people. It's really not so much of how big the event/thing is, but instead, small little things that make everything possible. Im glad the seniors are touched and yeah, had fun and a great time! im sure we juniors felt the same too.. It's the bond that we formed, through a common love that bind us so strongly together i guess? For me, i found really good friends here, friends that will be there for me. It really made me understand alot more about myself, about how other people behave and think. While it's rather sad that i;ve seen so many batches come and leave, and i would really rather grow with one batch but well, that's life isnt it? Tears and smiles, part and parcel of leaving ain't them? I love the time i had with them, a batch with little/no politics, a batch that stood through obstacles together, a batch that really made me feel at home. The two previous batches, hm they were good i have to say, but it didn't feel so much like a choir. There were politics and yeah, it.. it just didnt feel the same. But nonetheless, glad that everything turned out fine! despite all the last min stuff. yeah thanks everyone!

Maybe it's just me, but i've turned more skeptical and critical of things around me. Perhaps it's more of the expectations i always have of others, wanting others to be this be that, to do this do that, and when they somehow fail me i will bring on misery/stress upon myself.

Somehow, i really don't feel like i know you anymore. Maybe it's the lack of communication, but i dont feel like im involved in some way. It's like 2 entities, coming together occasionally. I just dont feel it, something i think i felt before but not now. It makes it even harder i guess, forme to relate to you? Cos somehow you're just not there. back to the expectations part, maybe it's really of the expectations i have of you, but yet i cant really say you have failed to hit it, cos occassionally you do. It's reeally this complicated and contradicting feeling that keepsbugging my mind.. i dont know ): sometimes, i just really wanna drop everything and just break away. I want to know you better, i want to help, i want to bemore involved, but yet i know, sometimes i may just be impossible as we ARE two different entities. I guessmaybe after the analysis i had a few days earlier, things became clearer especially on why i feel sad/confused. It's alot on expectations. Maybe kaiyin's right. maybe love isn't what we young people think as it should be.

" Love confounds you, and makes you so far gone that you're willing to hurt yourself, that you're willing to try again and again no matter how many times you get upset."

Please, let me get this straight right out of my mind, let me have peace, let myself be clear of what i really want. Who says things are simple? Nothing in this world is simple. nothing. I really did consider before living in no man's island. Well at least i wont have the disappointment from expectations. Maybe im expecting too much, maybe there's nothing wrong in the first place. Maybe im justthinking too much. Sigh, sometimes i wish ima guy instead. girls think too much and are too emotional for their own good. Or maybe i need to learn how not to think too much.

oh haha Im the new assis general secretary to youth executive committee!:D

2007-08-20T23:28:00.000+08:00

This is a true story that just happened. I took a different way of recording it.

There's this girl in school who wants everything, she wants to be successful, smart, all-rounder, leader.... she stretches herself to excel in every single thing she does, even in terms of exercising. She exposes herself to many aspects of the society/community and practically accepts no failures or compromises on quality of work and commitment in her various pursuits. For the past 10 years of her school life, it has always been alot on expectations, striving to be the best, rushing here and there, fulfilling responsibilities etc. Perhaps it's the accumulation inside her, perhaps it's time to stop, perhaps.... perhaps she can't take the pressure anymore. or Perhaps, she's just a loser/failure who can't seem to plan her life well. Constantly, she questions herself, asking herself why other people can do it, and why she can't. Why can others who seems to be even busier, can manage so well without much stress? Does this mean she's a flop in management? or on a positive note, it might be a time to signal her to rest. She doesn't know, she's escaping and running away from them. The constant bugging of problems, stress and pressure at the back of her mind kills and destroys her sleep every day, every night. Which normal being will wake up after 3 hours of sleep and say that this is sufficient for body maintenance? She fears, she's afraid, she's scared of losing it, she's afraid of failing, losing out. Deep down, she's insecure. INsecure about what? She doesn't know. She's afraid of finding out. Ultimately, she's scared. serious.

The contradiction deep down inside her - she wants them, yet she fears them. she wants them, yet she doesnt want them. It's hard to relate that to people, she's afraid of losing them. the constant cpontradiction within her results in much more stresss that she;s already facing. No longer does it affect her emotions, it's affecting her health. A whole wide range of health and food problems, you name it she's got it. (well maybe this is an exaggeration but you understand how it goes) One day she realizes she couldnt take it anymore. JUst a simple "hi how are u doing?" is enough to make her cry. It wasnt a simple cry, it became a session of release. She didnt know why either, it just... just came out. everything fell into place and explained themselves.
{erhaps it's realluy time to step back and not do anythign for once. She's trying, she's trying to regain her sleeping 3 years ago. she's trying to ovecome her phobia of sleep. It'll tkae time, long time i would suppose. it isnt a rare case, schools, esp top schools, have reported a rise in such cases.

It's beena long long journey.

2007-08-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

Ohmy i feel so small when i was at the Rally earlier! ): like all the other big shots and successful nad big people, while im just a small student! ): nvm im movitvated and inspired to be like one of them ONE DAY. I WILL BE. hmph.

im so tired. gosh, my eyes are nearly bloodshot. and i still have so much undone work.

i nearly wanted to sabo kong meng by putting up his photo. but today im too tired to do it. MAYBE TOMORROW. :p

ah voicebeats's doing funky songs! i like staying alive and super trouper!!

ok im feeling random n tired!! ):
ok going off now. shall be evil tmr. :p

OHOH ANW RAYRIN SAID IM IN THE MOVIE 881 FOR ONE SCENE! haaha the tj scene! PLEASE GO WATCH IT AND TRY TO FIND ME INSIDE!!!! :D EVERYONE MUST GO WATCH (even though i only appear for 3 secs.)) but anyway go watch for me! :D

2007-08-15T23:47:00.000+08:00

i shouldn't be complaining
i shouldn't be complaining
i shouldn't be complaining
i shouldn't be complaining
i shouldn't be complaining
i shouldn't be complaining
i shouldn't be complaining
I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE COMPLAINING.

BUT please, can the teachers just give me a break?

i KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE COMPLAINING.
but yes i STILL AM COMPLAINING.
SOMETIMES THINGS GET TO A POINT WHERE YOU CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE
SO YOU COMPLAIN YET KNOWING NOTHING CAN BE DONE BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT WITHIN YOUR CONTROL.

urgh im a big spoilt brat.
this is all for my own good, but it gets tiring to have to put on a facade everytime, always.
it's been like this ever since i start schooling.
at least 9 years of such things,
im sick of it.

BUT i cannot complain to anyone
because these are for my own good
because i might look like some arrogant ass who doesn't treasure all these chances
i can only complain silently

maybe im just sick of it.
i just want to be a normal student
go school study,
after school go out
and enjoy a fun and slack student life

yet i know,
i am in no position to complain.
i should be grateful, shouldn't i?

sigh
let this year faster end
2008 might be a better year

2007-08-14T19:50:00.000+08:00

baaah my shortest day has officially been extended to kinda like one of the longest days (earliest i get to end is 440pm - ohmy). Aiya u see i end at 12.30, then physics remedial at 120 (can stretch up till 2 periods) so may end at like 3. then 350 econs extra lesson until 440. hai, sian la. nevermind all extra lessons are for the good of our development (tries not to roll my eyes) but anyway, yeah!

choir's quite good i guess for the first official prac by ourselves, so yeah, a good start? (: haha

and im really sick of THIS.DAMN SICK OF IT MAN. wth but i cant do anything!! in case the teacher *aherm* sees this, so i shall not say what it is but YES argh, it's so bloody inefficient and annoying and sickening and THEY are such time-and-energy wasters!if only i went for the earlier one! goodness. ah whatever man, im just going to like heck abit? some teachers are so much organized, efficient, effective, well-learned and street-smart. not really in any position to comment but urgh just really expressing my dislike and annoyance and disappointment.

ok math test this thursday - fail- maybe i'll be like Kong :p and not study for it. Econs! (:

2007-08-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

I dont know what to say
i dont know what to do
i dont know why this's happening
i dont know how to put it
i need someone to put everything into words, into context.

what;s this all about?
As yin's blog says
"If the "restart" button was available, I might press it.Too bad such a thing doesnt exist, yet."
do i see it getting anywhere anyway?

because sometimes i dont even understand myself.
what's wrong, you may ask
i dont know, that's all i can say
im too complicated? no i dont think so

im.. just not myself today.
i hate emo and depressing posts.
but yet im writing so many of such posts today.
yet talk to no one i can.
i need a hug.

2007-08-09T21:24:00.000+08:00

Nothing is so good it lasts eternally
Perfect situations must go wrong
But this has never yet prevented me
Wanting far too much for far too long.

Looking back I could have played it differently
Won a few more moments who can tell
But it took time to understand the man
Now at least I know I know him well

Wasn't it good?
Wasn't he fine?
Isn't it madness
He can't be mine?

Oh so good
Oh so fine
He can't be mine?

But in the end he needs
A little bit more than me --
More security
He needs his fantasy
And freedom
I know him so well.

Those who like For Good, should like this song too. (: real nice song, a lil emo but yeah nice during times like this (:

2007-08-09T20:36:00.000+08:00

this is bad. im feeling what i shouldn't be feeling; thinking about things that i shouldn't be thinking about. it's complicated. And apparently a weird thought came to me while i was shopping cos i saw this guy in white shirt and well, he kinda triggered something that's remained dormant for quite some time. it's err, bad? good? depending on the angle, can be both good and bad i guess. ): sigh im jealous! ): ): which i totally shouldn't be! ): ): i should be like happy instead! i dont know, i need someone to talk to, but sometimes at times like this, i don't know who to talk to. Does that sound pathetic? sigh. i dont know. i should like go watch chick films or something to cheer myself up and bring myself away from the annoying thoughts.

i need my dose of westlife, fairy tales and yeah someone to talk to right now.

That's the Way - Rockapella

2007-08-09T11:13:00.001+08:00

rockapella! it's SADDDDD that i couldnt go to their concert last year because NO MORE TICKETS LEFT.ah. they changed some of the members alrdy, like the bass and percussionist but still as good! ah i wanna watch them! i would love to have their cd as present cos you cant get it in singapore!! *hint* haha!

UC Men's Octet - Accidentally in Love

2007-08-09T11:01:00.001+08:00

this is the UC Men's octet im talking about! ahhh! :D

acapella videos!

2007-08-09T10:27:00.000+08:00

omg this is like so cool! Im doing the song and medley list for Voicebeat's Performance on the 31st at CONRAD INT'L HOTEL! (omg how how coool is that! :D) Anyway i chanced upon this group at youtube and gosh though they're not like perfect or as good as rockapella in terms of sound, but aaaahh they're really good performers and sing pretty well! Their arrangements are also rather cool! And the best thing, they're this all guys group - UC Men Octet! Maybe next time i should go UC and study! HAHAHA. ok, just some crazy idea. but yeah should go check them out in terms of stage presence and the performance!

ah acapella music is love.

Anyway goodness me, i chanced upon a westlife acapella video on youtube so i went to watch it and AH I STARTED GOING CRAZY AND kept smiling to myself and screamed together with the fans in the video. omg i think ppl reading this will think im C.R.A.Z.Y. but i love them! if they come again this time im so going to get the tickets immediately! why why! why don't they come spore again! ): gosh but anw i can't believe myself, and they are now stuck in my mind. this sudden urge to go to the music store and grab all their videos struck me when i was watching the video. ohmy IF im at like HMV now, i'll definitely go and buy whatever cds/dvds that i dont have. ahh. you may think im so 5 mins ago cos boyband's era long over but whatever man!

westlife is love too. (:

setting new rules, heading a new direction

2007-08-07T20:26:00.000+08:00

Well today's been a long day and yeah had the first com meeting! I would say it's a rather good start, with everyone understanding their roles better and paving new direction for choir 0708. (: I guess it takes effort and time to really get to know and understand people better, but i would say im happy with my new com up till this moment! As for efficiency and doing things together, i would say it's still too early to say but i really really do hope to see us working really well and yeah, bring choir to greater heights! It's kinda like my vision to see this whole choir work as well as possible, though i know it;s not going to be easy but we'll try (: The love for singing and making changes will hopefully brings us together. Sometimes, it's really the process and communication and ties that makes everything ever so worthwhile, ever so memorable, ever so enjoyable. Choir's some place/avenue that really allows me to just sing my heart out and forget the stress and yeah create music together.(It kinda explains why im still in choir even after 10 years in it :) Ah my com ah, abit crazy one lor. haha
Kong kong is always ever-so-OMG-BIMBO (please man, choir's not going to have some choir colour - PINK! Haaha!
miao miao - lol, u and ur cats and 'miaos'.
kaiyin -lovelove, ohmy, hahaha :D,
jiawen - whack whack, smart and abit siao :p,
agatha - blur sotong at times! heh
xiaochun - wah can call u superfingers :p
xinjun - i know he can be noisy if he wants to. hahahah.

hm sometimes i think as i take up another leadership post, it forces me to really think about how i want to live my life, how i want to help, the possible trade-offs (i guess?) and more importantly, how i want to involve people in my life, to hopefully bring them along and yeah be an influence in their life at a certain point in time. anw i do really hope we will create a legacy that will live a lasting positive impact for the next batch. (:

choir's love. <3

STUPID BLOGGER!

2007-08-03T23:33:00.000+08:00

STUPID BLOGGER. ATE UP HALF OF MY PREVIOUS POST. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH.

Anyway, i'll miss the year twos! guangguang, tessa, clovis my dance partner!, jiahui!, mod dear <3 and so so so many more! who will be my dance partner next yr lor! ): hai. Haha. i just realised all my dance partners are from bass, like i had keng foo for Miss Saigon, then clovis for get happy and this year! Ah maybe next year dont have dance partner, then i should like change the style and choreo abit alrdy. unless of course miracle happens, and *pooff* a few of the current guys can dance! hahaha we'll see (: Ah i miss the year twos!

Choir Handover

2007-08-03T21:03:00.000+08:00

Hey i guess no matter how busy i am, i still have to blog about this TODAY. Yeah anyway, it's choir handover today AND IM ALREADY MISSING THE YEAR TWOS! Sigh it's been really fun and enjoyable singing and spending so much time together, especially all the unforgettable friendships that have been formed - roxanne <3,>

Wah guangster! what's that pose for man! :p and kong kong trying to act cute. TSK.

The old committee! <333>

Andrea! <333

Lastly my dear mod who wil listen to me about my crappy complaints and problems. My relationship guru too! :p (we look not as good because it was taken when FOR GOOD was played and both of us esp, became urm, very very emo. haha) *hugs* (:

JTS! Looking forward to it! (: and More pics please!
i love tjchoir. more updates soon (: lovelove. all the best to our 0708 batch from now. <3

2007-07-30T21:42:00.000+08:00

thank goodness it's now 30 July. Almost everything is over. im so glad of it man. no time to really blog now though, quite a lot of things to reflect actually. hm like concert, carnival, schoolwork, jct, friends, relationships, ocip, choir. As i was telling ms tham earlier, one of the biggest weakness is my lack of time to reflect and really sometimes, to enjoy and know what i am really doing. i get on with my life so fast that i sometimes neglect certain things around me, like loved ones. yeah i know. homework first for now, i'll definitely try to find a time to do that. these are things that i have to do no matter what. gotta find time to read my pile of new books that have been there accumulating dust since start of the year, especially when i was on book-spree. haha. wait for my reflection. I'LL BE BACK. HAHAHA.

2007-06-25T08:48:00.000+08:00

good luck to me. never have i once gone for exams with 50% input. i am so dead. =x

2007-06-11T15:23:00.000+08:00

Woah i just realised i haven't blogged for quite some time! Okay holidays are pretty much -urgh not holidays- with school, choir, projects etc etc. I want my HOLIDAYS BACK. ): Anyway had temasek seminar site visit last tuesday, and heh my conclusion:

I think guys in uniform are generally hotter.

(well at least the ratio of good looking guys in uniform somehow seems tobe higher than that of without uniform). I dont know why! They just urm, look smarter i guess? :D But hey, i did learn stuff there okay! *grins* And i am inspired to work in SAF (air force, i hope?) Haha i was talking to this female officer (What do u call ppl with 3 strips on their shoulder?) and yeap she's from the air force. I was telling her about my eyesight and she was saying if im a really good/smart/capable person/scholar they'll even send me for free lasik surgery to correct my eyesight so that i can qualify to be in the air force! ((: Wahahha. Come to think of it, i dont mind being in army, just that i prefer not to get down and dirty (with those -ew- mud and soil on me). Haha i think i sound like some bitchy female officer that turns ppl off! Whatever! haha

And im pretty happy with my vegan diet so far :D i just don't have the craving for meat. And i like vegey! I've been eating yong tauhu like many days in a row and i think i don't mind eating it everyday. Ok suddenly im reminded of the huge pile of work that i have to do. Bleagh. Why does hols seem to pass so quickly? ):

And yes, PEOPLE PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD AND VOLUNTEER FOR SAGE MCFOLKS! We're doing organizing this Elders' Day Carnival on the 29th July 07! And we need a lot of helpers, people to set up stalls (games, drinks, food) and also to help us sell our carnival coupons at $10 each! It's for a GOOD CAUSE AND ALL PROCEEDS WILL GO TO SAGE TO HELP THOSE ELDERLY IN SINGAPORE! Check out our blog http://sage-mcfolks.blogspot.com for more details on the photographic competition we're having now and email me or the group if you are interested to volunteer! Pls help us! It's for a good cause! you can contact me at yclim32@hotmail.com / 91839092.

HELP US AND BE A SAGE MCFOLK! :D

Please KISS me plan

2007-06-02T18:07:00.001+08:00

Haha. I like the name of this diet :D - please KISS me diet (when i say diet, i don't mean like not eat, what i mean is course of food) Anyway, heh. KISS me!

The Million Dollar Question
How do you include carbohydrates in you diet in a safe, effective, and controlled way?
The “Please KISS Me” (Please Keep It So Simple for Me) plan for carbohydrate control is a wonderful tool that only contains 3 simple rules:

RULE 1: Include the following in your diet:
Fruits: 2-4 servings daily
Vegetables: 3-5 servings daily
Whole grain breads, muffins, bagels, rolls, pasta, noodles, crackers, cereal, and brown rice: 6-11 servings daily
Legumes, beans and peas: 1-2 servings daily
Low-fat and non-fat dairy products: 3 servings daily

RULE 2: Limit the following to less than 2 servings daily:
Fruit Juice
Refined and processed white flour products (bread, muffins, bagels, rolls, pasta, noodles, crackers, cereal)
White rice
French fries
Fried vegetables

RULE 3: Eliminate the following from your diet or eat only on occasion:
Sugary desserts, cookies, cakes, pies, candies
Doughnuts and pastries
Chips, cola and carbonated beverages
Sugar, honey, syrup, jam, jelly, molasses

That’s it! A simple, effective carbohydrate-controlling plan that, when combined with your SparkDiet, allows you to reap the countless benefits of complex carbohydrates and fiber while enhancing your health and maintaining a healthy weight. The long term result will be a healthy you!

Article created on: 5/31/2006 taken from www.sparkspeople.com

Ah anyway, i found this super nice COOKIE SHOP at Joo Chiat Road. OMG.THE COOKIES ARE HEAVENLY! and one small cookie costs $0.50. yes super ex. BUT I THINK IT'S SO WORTH MY MONEY. (: ah darn, am i not supposed to be thinking about cookies?? Hahaha Whatever la!

2007-05-31T20:45:00.000+08:00

HaHa. Plan FAILED. hahaha. i took nuts! It's ALRIGHT. I SHALL START AGAIN. (:

aaand

i miss the good old days. alot. (: Looking at the past photos, ah they really bring back memories!It's just so sad that everything is moving so quickly. I NEED A BREATHER. I am missing alot of things, not like losing but yes you get me. hahah

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected."
~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook aww (:

2007-05-29T21:41:00.000+08:00

Hello! Sorry for not blogging for the past week.. Was super busy! So many things happened and yeah up till now i still dont have time to really sit down and reflect what happened over the past 6 months. Time really flies. Ah well. (reminds myself: I NEED TO BLOG ABOUT ALOT OF THINGS!)heh

Anyway, i think ive decided to turn vegan (: maybe sometimes i'll sneak in fish but THATS IT. hahaha, it's a rather random thing but i thought it's quite meaningful as we're protecting the animals! and besides, it's healthy! so i shall probably be eating vegey unless i have sudden cravings for meat which is rather unlikely but nevermind, vegan here i come! haha!

And YES, I THINK I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. IT'S TIME TO DIET! i shall do it with a 21 day detox plan. i havent detoxed for a long long time, the last time i did it was like last year? Hrm. haha. yes. so i think it's time to start now. No more junk food, no more rubbish snacks, no more fattening,oily stuff. NO MORE NO MORE. *shakes head* i cant believe ive been eating all these unhealthy stuff!!! yucks yucks yucks! So detox plan shall cleanse my colon, my stomach, and basically my blood! hahaha tomorrow shall be the first day!help me people, remind me that im on detox plan. (((: loves--`

2007-05-19T22:08:00.000+08:00

what if i say, don't talk to me again?

Reflections 8: Wicked! (choir concert)

2007-05-19T01:04:00.000+08:00

i love tjchoir <3
we did well for wizard and wicked. im proud of us. im proud of myself and the choreo team as well, heh :D we all deserve a pat on our backs. well what else could i say? all the months of hard work and sweat, have been worthwhile. i like the feeling of performing on stage, how every pair of eyes in the audience seat is on you, how you shine, share and let them feel your passion and love for this something that you are proud to do. i like to be in the limelight, i like to be on stage and i like to do it together with a bunch of great people. (: i was never so emotional until today, how eevryting fell into place, all my past worries and stress - the satisfaction and sense of achievement. It's esp touching and heartwarming when you see your friends who turn up just to support you <33 to all of you!really made my day! i have so many pictures to post up today but am just too tired, maybe i'll do it some other time (:

ooh during 2nd half while Mr suhaimi from SAVH performed, we were totally camwhoring! clovis la, started the whole thing! he wanted to take picture with me so used his phone and THE PHOTO IS FREAKING NICE! because of the colour n angle n background la but anw that's not the point! i went crazy over the lighting because i totally LOVE the orange light on stage! so i was asking clovis, guangster, louis etc to take alot of photos with and for me! it was super fun la! guagster, dunno what his problems la whole day suan me! hmph! hahaha. i shall probably blog more about it tmr when i am not so tired! (: huggies to all (: n yes thank you so so much for coming down to watch it!

2007-05-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

urgh sorry but i feel that i really need a break from you. it's giving me so much mental stress that i think it'll do more good than harm to take a break. sigh.

My celebrity look-alike

2007-05-13T11:24:00.001+08:00

wahaha. this is so funny. And yes, i actually tried it again several times with other photos and 99% of the time, i resemble korean/japanese actresses. hahaha.

2007-05-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

today's performance was great! ok la, there were like mistakes here and there, esp for KEEP IT UP! but we really enjoyed ourselves and the greatest satisfaction was when the teachers/principals and staff all laughed after hearing keep it up! Because they understood the irony in the song! Ah (: unlike during syf when we were like kinda tensed up. Hopefully this signifies great things to come for our choir. :D as ive mentioned long time ago, it's not that we can't do it, it's whether we want it or not. and i guess the experience of syf really bonded us (in some way) whether it's because of disappointment or relieved or what, i dont know, but all i know is we all knew we could have done better. just the thought of actually realizing we have so much potential alrdy shows our passion and change. hahaha, i must have hurt xiao ming/christopher's arms so much that day! *oops* cos i was grabbing his arm and hitting them so randomly when they were announcing the results for syf (i pity his arms but heh :p) But he was so annoying! trying to make me soo nervous! urgh. hahhaa ah well, i guess i'll really miss the year twos when they're gone, so concert's like our last project together, WE MUST CHERISH IT! (: Although we're not supposed to sing for anyone, hearing that miss tham's really happy with our pieces really assured us alot, alot. in any case, i think i admire her alot, she's like this superwoman who does so many things, so capable, yet what makes me admire her the most, is her belief in making music and not drilling music, unlike so many choir conductors out there *AHERM -YUCKS- AHERM* (whom i shall not mention here, but those who know me well will probably know :p) in the first place, i didnt even feel that syf's over! I mean, everything happened so quickly until it just whizzed past me like that! My last syf! hahaha! Ah i just so love to perform!

It's so fast huh, the past four months for us were crazy. All those shoutings, screamings, scoldings, crying.. i think they're worht it. never in my life, had i been so emotional, had i been so unstable. i was lucky. i have really close choir friends. eric's, (my standing partner (heh)) been ever so supportive and funny. christopher/xiao ming's always so lame (: mod dear, thank you so much for being so understanding, love you loads. delin, my singing partner (love it when we always sing together! and i love your voice, super nice for slow love ballads! heh). clovis, my long-time dance partner (why am i always dancing with you?! haha). thank you so much for always being here for me when i have no one to turn to. love you guys (: and not forgetting kaiyin and jiawen dears! roxxy (: tessa (: jiahui (: ahhh so many people! (: love tjchoir. We'll rock the house down on concert day!

8 MORE DAYS TO CONCERT! BUY TICKETS FROM ME! (:

2007-05-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

I don't know, i feel distant and can i say a tinge of sadness? It's like somehow i don't know you anymore, i don't know what to do, i dont know what to say. I don't know if you have realised it but i thought you've changed a little. Perhaps it's just this period of time, the crazy-stressful period where everything just comes down on you. i feel helpless, not being able to do anything. i try, but somehow everytime.... i dont know lar, i just hope it'll be alright soon.

2007-05-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

GOLD.
(:
9 more days to concert!
Let's make the concert a fabulous one!

2007-05-06T21:13:00.000+08:00

A LITTLE MORE THAN 24 HOURS.

ONE + MORE DAY.

FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA

2007-05-05T18:59:00.000+08:00

TWO.TWO.TWO.TWO.TWO.

A LITTLE MORE THAN 48HRS.

singing.singing.singing.singing.SINGING.when they have no song in them.

People KEEP IT UP - because they daren't stop.they daren't stop.they daren't stop.

TWO

2007-05-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

okay peeps, THREE MORE DAYS (not counting today as today's nearly gone). Now it's not about the silver, gold or gold with honours anymore. i just want us to sing our best, that's ALL IM AKSING. ): if we get results that we are disappointed with, we can only blame ourselves. serious. come on people, just three more days.

THREE MORE DAYS. THREE FREAKING MORE DAYS.

2007-05-01T21:32:00.000+08:00

and yes, i would like to add that, i cannot stand THIS PARTICULAR SCHOOL. it's TOTALLY unfair.

2007-05-01T21:20:00.000+08:00

I AM PANICKING. YES, PANICKING BADLY. SIX MORE DAYS. are we even ready to rehearse even once perfectly? REHEARSE, NOT COMPETE. sigh, i dont know! I'm just really worried and nervous and anxious and stressed out and AH IM FREAKING OUT!

IT'S NOW OR NEVER.
SIX MORE DAY. SIX MORE DAY. SIX MORE DAYS.

SIX!!!

2007-04-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

Ah this week's finally over. for good. Every single thing is moving at such a fast pace, it's really getting tiring to just try to keep up and not lag. yes, im like rather overwhelmed with so much work n pressure n stress and expectations. sometimes i wonder if it's worth it, but then again, without them, i'll probably be dead due to boredom. the thing with me is that i rly cant sit still, i've got to work and keep working! arh! ok anw, yes back to this week. Math test was alright i suppose, although cant rly fnish the last qns but oh well. Today went for the presentation for the Youth For Cause Project selection and mind you, we were all in a super pissed mood because we kind of wasted so much time waiting, waiting and waiting. ah well, we really hope we get it though. (:

met modissa, kaiyin and christopher later in the afternoon to go shop for choir 2nd half costumes n stuff. Ah poor christopher, we were teasing him about his backpack! ooh and yes we had so much fun trying costumes n accessories at the costume rental shop! and who ask christopher to be the only guy there? heh we 3 girls bullied him and made him like help us take photos of us in stupid poses and all sorts of crazy outfits! hahaha, and he looked kinda retarded in his scarecrow hat :p anyway so we went scarf hunting after that and all i can say now is that the choir owes us one man! biiiiig time! our legs were breaking, walking from one place to another, cracking our brains, thinking how to utilise it or make it nice etc. wah so in the end, mentally n physically tired! double the agony!heard from mod n yin that ah choir's taking shape which is totally amazing and great! let's hope that this'll continue and we'll peak on THAT day! :D yayness!

oh well, this week's also kinda been the record wk - the number of times i broke down n cry, like suddenly bursting out in tears after or while talking to mod or close ppl. yeah. dont know lar, hope this coming wk will be much much better for me

<3 i longed to hear the harmony of the sound and music that we create together.

17 more days

2007-04-16T22:20:00.000+08:00

what else can i say?

today's been bad.

20more days left.
what are we doing?

sigh.

i dont know. i dont know about anything anymore.
everything's so uncertain.
i want it badly, i want it really badly.
i need a really big hug, a morale booster.
i dont know why im so worried, up till the point i've even lost the feeling of hunger.
it's bad.
what can we do?
sit and pray?

i dont ask for more. i just want this.

2007-04-15T20:49:00.000+08:00

I can't express the gush of emotions im feeling right now, it's so near now, i can;t wait for it to end, but yet i don't want it to end. I don't knw why im feeling so emotional now. I dont know how it will be the next coming term.

There are many things that are important to me, and yes Choir's been my life. the emotional attachment to it, despite having seen and sang with 3 different batches (4 if include this yr's), has never been so strong. i was afraid for our choir, ive never felt so stressed out by choir before, i was afraid to even listen. It has been a shocking term 1 and 2 for me, the tension, anxiety, stress, tears, never have i experienced them the past 2 yrs here. yet after friday, i know it;s possible (:

this is the song i love so much, this is the song that makes us cry. this is the song that'll wrap everything up nicely.

I've heard it said

That people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow

If we let them

And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you

It well may be

That we will never meet again

In this lifetime

So let me say before we part

So much of me

Is made of what I learned from you

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend

And because I knew you...

Because I knew you...

I have been changed for good.

2007-04-15T12:44:00.000+08:00

Whee! <3 modissa and kaiyin dears! (: it's fun to go concert with you guys!

okay frankly speaking, i feel REALLY RELIEVED and yes, more confident than ever. reason cant be divuldged but yes, you and i know :D but we cant' be complacent! we still have a looong way to go! oh as i was telling them, i had a very emotional moment yesterday during choreo prac. As the choir's singing WICKED, I NEARLY BURST OUT CRYING. Especially FOR GOOD. Omg, i dont know what came over me, i could totally feel the tears nearly gushing out of my eyes! It's like i felt as if i was at the concert and we were singing the finale song. everything fell into place, all our hardwork paid off, the difficult but memorable practices, the tears, the laughter, the pain, the scoldings, the joy, the satisfaction, everything, singing together with 0607 batch - it was a good concert. sigh, if only this is real. everytime i listen to For Good, i'll just feel like crying, it's so emotional, so sad yet so beautiful. i'll never be able to express the mixed feeling i feel listening to the song. i love choir, i really love, the people, the music we create together.. i'm just keeping my fingers crossed that everything will fall into place nicely. (: with the additional confidence booster, i have faith that we will do well, we have such great potential! seriously! we'll get it, we'll get what we want, what we hope, what we dream <3 dears

2007-04-11T23:09:00.000+08:00

In response to Kaijie's tag, YES WE ALL LOVE ECONS! =D She's such a nice teacher! Heh who else gives extra econs tutorial+notes+tips and knows how to make full use of civics lesson??? (*oops im not supposed to say it*) But anyway, we all love the subject! Haha, i think it's more of love-hate? Perhaps due to the mountain of homework and yes, the demoralizingsickeningupsetting test. But we'll work hard! Yay!

let's see, ah today's wednesday (time seem to past real quickly these few days!) hmm i don't regret not running for council again because i realised that there are so many things that i wanna do outside of school and i think i've found what i really want, with whom i really wanna work with and the place where things are running more or less the way i idealize things should be. :) so no regrets ;)

ohmy, like 26more days to syf! *panicks* we're SO SCRWED.BIG TIME.BIGBIGBIGTIME. ):

2007-04-10T20:30:00.001+08:00

Ah i feel so fat now after eating like a SUPER BIG BOWL Of salad! like omg-ly huge! Ah whatever la, i can't undo it anw :D

ANYWAY, I CANT WAIT TO ANNOUNCE TO THE WHOLE WORLD THAT AHHHH TJCHOIR 0607 BATCH IS AMAZING! IS WAAAAAYYY COOOOOL! GUESS WHAT, ESPLANADE MANAGEMENT'S SUPER IMPRESSED WITH OUR PERFORMANCE LAST SEPTEMBER SO THEY ARE ASKING US BACK TO STAGE A CONCERT IN ESPLANADE!! IT'S NOT JUST ANY CONCERT, IT'S ESPLANADE ASKING US TO STAGE A CONCERT! OMG HOW COOL CAN THIS GET MAN! AND THEY WILL HELP US TO PUBLICISE AND ADVERTISE AND PRINT TICKETS ETC. WE DO NOT HAVE TO PAY A SINGLE CENT TO SING THERE. OHMYGOSH =D IT'LL BE IN JULY SO PEOPLE COME AND SUPPORT US! YAY!

i love 0607 batch! <3>

2007-04-08T11:40:00.000+08:00

WHATEVER.
BLOGGER ATE UP MY SUPER SUPER LONG AND INSIGHTFUL POST!
URGH!

2007-04-05T22:24:00.000+08:00

mmhmm i like being appreciated (: ok that's so random agn.

ANYWAY, We went to Saint Andrew's Hospital today and sang for the patricia lady and she said we're good! (: whee!! not bad at all for the first time we performed for 'audience'! We'll probably be going down there every week or nearly every week to sing and yeap have fun. I think it's something really meaningful because it's like i get to learn, see and experience stuff that i dont normally do in school. Besides, it's something that we all love to do - which is to come together and make nice music! As always, beatboxer gets the limelight (but im not complaining :D, cos we're so happy to actually have one on our team!) Yay, im so excited about this whole thing and all the fun stuff we can do together! cool! But i wonder if we can actually get more people, although that'll make the grp bigger and perhaps will lead to more problem since we alrdy have problems meeting with just the 5 of us. Haha funfunfun! There're really so many things that i really really wanna do out there!

So anyway, i was on the train with louis and mervyn and we were singing ALL THE WAY from the start of the journey till we left for our respective stations. That mervyn ah, is super lame la! He's like doing all the weird weird expressions and actions that either made me burst out laughing or made me roll my eyes. Louis was worse, he kept singing all the super high notes (as if he's a sop). With these two weird guys around me, i somehow sounded and acted more guy-ish than them la! tsk tsk.

It dawned on me that there are certain things in life that i can't control, like how other people behave etc stuff like that. And i do hope that as the time goes by, i will really learn how to 'ignore' the disappointment and sadness over my inability to change them. Somehow, it may seem to some that keeping myself busy is a way to escape from the fear of facing the inability and handicapp feeling. i do hope that's not the case. but yes, im feeling a little bit of disappointed, hopefully that'll go away soon..

AH! i appeared on tv :D *grins* not that there's much to say about it but in any case, it's kinda funny to see yourself on tv. i was totally praying like "Please dont let me look stupid on set and sing out of tune. plsplsplspls" and omg *phew* i thought i didnt threw my face into the dustbin and did reasonably okay. haha. i guess it's another new experience for me.
Goal: (to do more meaningful stuff) :D

i like this acapella group. ohno, we've ought to think of a name for ourselves yet!mervyn!louis!yin!jiawen! think think think! :D

2007-04-03T21:11:00.000+08:00

Yay okay, i love my bakerzin cake. -random- but yes, i love it. (: my mum must be super sad when she heard that her favourite cake is out of stock alrdy. heh. hm sometimes i wonder about my stupid fascination with cakes. i love cedele's carrot cake, it's uber good, go try it if you like the 'western' carrot cake! :D

ok enough of cakes. Been doing alot alot alot of thinking and reflecting the past few days and i did come across times when i just couldn't seem to continue thinking about it anymore. Not that i've finished thinking, it's somehow like -i dont know what i should do and how i should continue- kind of thought and feeling. Like being in a rut. And it sucks being in those situations. Esp because you can't seem to talk to ANYONE, and i mean really anyone including close friends and parents, about it. All you can do is to keep everything to yourself and yeah, worry yourself out and kill even more braincells every second. It's time consuming, it's stressing you out, it's URGH, just plain annoying and depressing. I don't know if there's anyone i can talk to about, or at least listen and understand it. well yes, therapy, esp retail therapy. (: and a big great hug i suppose? mod dear's been really great to me *hugs* (:

alright, i should'nt be here in te first place. i just realised there are only about 578 days more to A levels. sigh, i hope everything turns out well.

2007-03-25T12:57:00.000+08:00

Hahahah what's up with me man! I realised that i seem to be always blogging one day late. =D heh, okay anw just felt really random and decided to blog! whee! -randomness- hahaha!
I think our acapella group is like really cool!waaaaaay cool! (: with kaiyin, jiawen, louis, me n mervyn, it sounded good for a start yesterday! imsoo excited about this whole thing! we stayed back at hcjc after the choir exchange and started singing/practising our repertoire, which's kinda weird cos it's not our own school but aiya im quite sure they enjoyed the free live music *grins*. Mervyn is cool! He's just doing impromptu beat-boxing and vocal harmony whenever he could and omgomgomg, it made our whole sound sounded really full and nice! Basically we played around with one another's parts (because we didnt really want to set a specific part for all, so it's more of like freestyle!). I did the melody for most songs ytd because yin and jiawen haven't heard of those songs before, but they did impromptu harmony which sounded really nice! Ah u two better go and listen to those songs and learn the melody! XD We were on 'high' mood and sang our way out of hcjc, to the bus stop, on the bus, on the mrt! I persuaded mervyn to teach me some basic skills of beatboxing but yes, i just have to admit that beat-boxing isn't my cup of tea after all. Haha! I ATTEMPTED to do it, BUUUTT yes i was like spitting saliva (i did cover my mouth la!) and the sound was no way like his. He was giving me the "aiya, dont attempt to learn la" kind of look already after i tried it for the first time. Ahaha, the next, i was just randomly singing "Hips don't lie" and he came in with the beat-boxing and made it sound like the recording (only that i dont sound like shakira, hahaha!) Basically it's just waay cool singing and harmonizing random songs. yin and jiawen were just staring at the two of us (crazy, u can say) the whole time while we're just singing and hamonizing random songs. ooh we did like "something stupid" by nicole kidman and robbie williams and ahahahha, sounded super cute! for "at the beginning"and "come what may" mervyn insisted on doing the higher up and yin and i were like -.- OKAY, you can do it if you want. hahah! we were thinking maybe we can do duet songs too and the rest can harmonize and do stupid stuff like acting to add to the whole atmosphere. haha, okay just an idea, it may sound/look stupid but hahaha, worth trying out! :D heh, before that, when we had break after warming up, the few of us (like lenora, me, mod, yin) were just sitting there and singing acapella versions of truly,madly,deeply and a few other songs. a while later, mervyn n ryan joined in with their beatboxing and vocal harmony, and ms lau was like staring at us and smiling! hahaha, i bet she thought we sounded good! *grins* okay, enough crap for today. (:

oh and yes, i'll always remember *IT'S YOUR LOSS"! It's my line after all! XD (-sorry!- inside joke can't be shared!) beware, don't make me unhappy!

:D

Quaver!!

2007-03-24T16:59:00.000+08:00

YAY! WE WON IDOL!!!

TEMASEK IDOL GROUP/BAND CATEGORY CHAMPION - QUAVER!!!!

Ah it's been a really long journey, but i guess it's also a wonderful and fun experience for me. We have never expected ourselves to win the whole idol competition! Like what Lester always says, we are three noobs who came together due to some weird reason(which we dont know) and it's super amazing how far we went! It all started off with the stupid lunch we had during orientation with woonyee, aishah, lester and eugene! We were talking about something and suddenly someone(can't rmber who) came up with the suggestion of joining idol. And the funny thing was, all of us said okay! enthusiastically and i thought it's just for fun, so i didnt really take it seriously. Then the night before the first round audition, eugene actually called me up and said, "Eh yeechuin, do you know that the audition for temasek idol is tomorrow??!!" I FREAKED OUT because i didn't expect it at all (n i just came back from the tianjin attachment programme)! so we ACTUALLY PRACTISED OVER THE PHONE USING CONFERENCE SYSTEM, with lester playing the piano on one end, eugene with his guitar and i sang along. This is how we practised before the semi finals as well. Amazing, is all i can say now. (: We were nervous before the finals, but we were not really dying to win. It's more of like "okay! let's try our best to perform for the audience and have fun!" And when they announced the first group to get into the second round was Kita, we actually hugged one another and said "ah well, it's been an amazing journey, considering how far we came and under such random and weird circumstance. and yes, it's been great and enjoyable working with you guys" THEN, THEY SAID QUAVER GOT INTO THE SECOND ROUND AS WELL! I was practically jumping on stage with my heels on la! :D Our final performance - my immortal, i can say that i really felt the mood and yeap, felt soo good singing it. I was screaming and jumping up and down when they announced that the winner of grp cat went to Quaver! Three of us acted like small little kids, hugging and jumping on stage with joy and disbelief! ((: Ah, it's going to be one really significant memory of my jc years that'll be etched in my mind for a long long time. Thanks so much for the tolerance and support! i love my friends! :D

quaver!quaver!quaver!quaver!quaver! (((:

2007-03-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

amazing, i only feel like blogging whenever im sad/depressed/not feeling good. Im not really an emo person but yes lately, it's been a rather 'emo' period for me. things have been running in my head and sometimes i wonder why certain things happen.
like the whole council-choir thing (there are more, these 2 are only eg), it's been so frustrating and confusing for me, until for a moment i was so sick and tired of everything. i hope you would do something more. is it better if im alone and single and free? no commitments and attachments, i can do whatevr i like! whats the point?! tell me whats the point of all these?!

it's been a bad week and today's a bad day, a very bad day.

8th Jan 07

2007-01-08T01:26:00.000+08:00

Dear blog, <-- (it's something stupid that you'll do once in a while, like imagining your blog is one of your living friends :p)

I just had a nice talk with kerry and yeah im feeling so much better. girl talk does wonders do a person's moood. Yeah she's right la, take the attachment as a break and give myself the opportunity to really think about what's happening to me and things around me, to see if they are justifiable and not just a thought that occurred to me when im emotionally vulnerable. Funny how most people actually have morbid thoughts/negative/emotionally charged thoughts at night. She was telling me how huilin actually became really serious and depressed at midnight while studying for promos. I guess it's the same for everyone, we have our own time to feel morbid, the time when all your emotions are flowing out of you. All i can say is that i was rather depressed-disturbed-sad-insecure(?) earlier and woah kerry's good. (: heh no doubt my secretary who knows me. haha. Ah well, i seriously should just stop thinking so much...

Tmr's gonna be the start of an exciting period for me. NOW, i feel rather excited about it. haha! Earlier, as ive said, i was rather morbid and depressed and sad n (all the negative adj u can think of). It's the start of something new! Although i have to admit im worried about my acads. ESP maths and physics! I'm just gonna DIE. I have to be reeeeaaally hardworking from now on man, i cant afford to lose it! Well, not a bad way to start this year, a trip out to tianjin for 5 weeks! (: Seriously, i think im really lucky to have this chance and yeah Im so not going to let anything and anyone affect me.

Speaking of people affecting one another, i was rather sad that one of my close friends (name cant be revealed) actually cried earlier because of this mega jerk jerk jerk! urgh! I think it's so not worth it but im so glad she's totally okay now. I think girls are really the more vulnerable one in a relationship because they tend to think and worry about small little details that guys do not seem to care. And because of that, girls tend to get hurt more easily? Some people might not agree with me but that's my view la. We worry ourselves out/ we think until our brains' r gonna explode/we lose sleep/we cry. urgh it's getting sickening! sigh but ohwell, i think it's up to individuals to decide what they wanna do. In the meantime, i do hope everything will be alright here and there's internet over there so i get to keep a record of things that happen over there in china. (:

loads of love always,
yee chuin

2007-01-07T00:30:00.000+08:00

take a break, take a break, take a break. not a break from work, but a break from people for awhile. It's not like i'm sick of anyone, it's just that i kinda need to 'refresh and renew'. Refresh the certain perceptions i have of someone, n well perhaps also renew old ties? There are certain things i can't stand but yet i can't do anything about it, because it's personality/character/behaviour of another. It tends to get annoying and irritating esp for hot-tempered, strongheaded people like me. Im seriously a weirdo? I dont like people who bugs me too much, yet i also dislike people who doesn't show enough. so the question i sometimes ask myself is "how much is then enough to make me happy yet doesn't cross the line?" Truthfully speaking, i don't know. (: heh if i know, i owuld have said it n save myself from all the troubles. Perhaps this is why sometimes i feel insecure, and sometimes i feel too overhwlemd by the care/concern that i get annoyed. And right now, the insecurities are creeping up. It's at this point in your life where you realise you are not really preapred for certain things, and you tend to think alot. It's the thought of "should i abandon my old life, and start a kinda like new life all over agsin?"
Often we always say people change under circumstances, how exactly true is that? And how many times are we the ones who have changed instead of the other, yet we dont realise it?

something's brewing

2007-01-06T00:05:00.001+08:00

It really just occurred to me that I THINK not only when I have nothing to do, I think like nearly all the time. And when I say think, it’s not like just thinking about what to say, but like really serious stuff that’ll affect my mood n stuff like that. Perhaps the thinking bug has caught me. Today was a REALLY FUN DAY for orientation! I simply love it, it’s super cool and all and of course there’s another special reason that made it so enjoyable *winks*. Haha! It’s been a damn long day, and many things happened. I really don’t know if it’s a god thing or a bad thing but it certainly made me more aware of myself as an individual and more aware of what things really are like. It’s a sensitive issue, and well, it doesn’t involve a lot of people. It really just hit me that nothing is so perfect as it seems? I was perhaps a little too naïve to think the word “PERFECT” exists in this real world. I mean, it all seemed too good. Yet on the other hand, should I listen to something that is spread around/gossip? Opinions and views are biased but they just make you feel like believing them. I seriously have no proof at all! But subconsciously, you are debating within yourself – whether it is true or untrue. And it gets to such a point that even though you have not made up your mind whether to believe or not to, it kinda like ‘wake you up’? make you realize that you should never put in your emotions too early, or believe in someone without having a single doubt or guard up. It’s…it’s just so weird, it’s like after so long then you have such thoughts? But at least better late than never. I have really started to think about the seriousness of it all, why perhaps is not the live I want, how I can really prepare myself to face such adversities, and of course, be more on guard? I guess the whole thing is just bizarre, and it all started with just a weird sentence said. I don’t know, I really don’t. Is it time to be like jane austen’s characters? Is it time to back off a while? To give myself a break? I don’t get it how a sentence can simply affect me so much and the thing is I have no solid proof to say that that ‘accusation’ is true! It hurts a lot just to think about it. It hurts to hear it being said. What will hurt most is it being true. Of course I don’t want it to be true, but sometimes things are just out of your control. I mean, yeah of course im definitely sad to hear that being said… like a part of my heart has been chipped off and I really don’t deny how a rather big impact it has on me. Sigh well, is it time to actually do something? (although I don’t really have any idea on what to do – confess? Confront? Ignore it?) It’s been a long, long journey and I have no wish of ending it here. Let’s just pray that it is not true.

Heh by the way, maybe another thing is brewing. Cant wait. I love my og *winks*

happy new year to all

2007-01-01T00:25:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year! Happy 2007 and goodbye 2006!

Perhaps im being cynical but welcoming a new year this year does not really signify anything to me. Rather, i feel that everything's still the same so why do people make a big fuss out of it?

Anyway hope u guys out there have had a memorable and enriching 2006 and wish all of you have a better year ahead! All the best! (:

bmw-s

2006-12-28T16:26:00.000+08:00

Hoho just came back from KL and wow my uncle let me test drive his new BMW! which is like wow, and LUCKILY there was this super huge empty space for me to try, or else im sure his car would have been damaged beyond repair! He has like 4 cars (he's a single man btw) BMW 5 series, BMW Z4 roadster, BMW 3 series coupe and the lexus rx (all latest models). he says he finds joy in collecting cars, none of his car is like more than 6 mths old. He says he's going to sell of the lexus rx and buy the new BMW X5. -.- like so many freaking cars! *faints* but nevermind, he says i can go and drive his car whenever i go to KL. hahaha i cant wait to get my driving license! i wanted to try the Z4 roadster but i didn't dare to ask man, later i crash his car into a tree/lamp post/damage it, i'll be in BIG BIG BIG TROUBLE and i'm quite sure that will be the end of the opportunity for me to drive any of his cars. It's quite fun driving though (i only drove like a short distance cos i was so nervous and scared of damaging the car, and besides i only drove in a straight line.hahaha) ah well and there was the xmas buffet at hilton! :D it was so delicious *yum!* oooh i saw this gingerbread house inside the hotel. It's huge and it's edible! but of course due to hygiene reason i didnt eat it la but i did see some signs of people eating it. *ew* how can they disfigure the gingerbread house!!! ):

Hm actually i can't wait for the new sch term to start, in a way, it's for me to really break away from lots of things that happened during the sch holidays / to give myself a break from things. i don't know but i feel that it's just different. that day i was thinking if the start of jc should mean the start of everything brand new, or should i just take it as per normal like "oh, new sch term yeah. make new friends, have new goals etc"? i dont' know. probably gotta give myself some time to think about it. ah perhaps i need an outing with my girlfriends (: heh.

Tuesdays with Morrie

2006-12-18T19:17:00.000+08:00

Im currently reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" and felt really inspired and rather compelled to share some of the insightful quotes that are in the book. After reading every chapter, it really forces me to think and reflect on my own life and how we are constantly living blindly, blinded by the belief that more is good, money is everything, fame is everything etc. I know i'll not be able to readily go and change the way i think and behave, but at least by reading it, i am able to see and identify problems, which is the first step to changing. my poor book is now in rather pathetic state due to its lazy owner who fold the pages instead of writing them down in a piece of paper or book *grins*. Well the blog is a platform for me to write them down lest one day i should losemy book and that's the end of those beautiful quotes. (:

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they are doing things they think are important. This is because they are chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

Are we all leading a meaningless life? Have we ever put in effort to make it memorable and meaningful? But some may say that gaining power and fame give you purpose and meaning. while that can also be a valid argument, can fame and power succeed without hurting others? And isn't hurting others a wrong thing to do? Although now i know this, i have to say truthfully that i wont be able to change my ambitious nature (for now) but this knowledge enables me to at least hurt less people. Of course the best case would be to drop all desires and detach oneself. Sigh it's always so easy to say it.

Oh and i definitely have to share this (my favourite quote) - Love is the only rational act.
and from FIve people you meet in heaven - Life has to end; love doesn't.

"Once you learn how to die, you'll learn how to live."

"Love each other or perish. Without love, we are birds with broken wings."

"Learn to detach, Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent."

"Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness."

(:

I love...

2006-12-16T14:18:00.000+08:00

HELLOOO! ahha i have decided to revive my blog ONCE AGAIN.and im QUITE SURE that this time the blog will last for at least 2 months before it's 'dead' again. haha, anyway i have decided to heed ziye's adivce to put one tagboard/cbox in my blog (cos previously i have removed my tag board due to personal beliefs). Ahwell, it's still the holidays, but it's going to end reeally soon. hm actually i am rather looking forward to the new year! the fun of seeing, meeting and making new friends, esp it's going to be people of my same age! it's been a looong time since i actually have many schoolmates who are of the same age as me. so i hope it'll be a pretty fun and exciting year! yay!

Aha i loooove this skin! i think it's sooo cute!i think it actually says something like "i love....(whatever you wanna say)" with the hearts and the girl, and i think i have many loves! so perhaps i will divulge my 'loves' bit by bit through this blog!haha

Anyway just a short notice - i'm thinking of starting an acapella group in school so i really need people to come forward and join this really exciting group! all peeps out there, if you are interested, leave down your name and contact number/email, and i'll try to get back to you as soon as possible. Loads of details like practice dates, performances are not settled yet because all these can only be decided when i have a core group that im certain can perform. But dont fret, cos it's quite easy to work all these out (i already have a few ideas on how to get this going) yupp, so tell me if you are interested! (: [btw if u have noticed, i have just said my first 'love' which is singing!heh]

the pains of growing up

2006-09-06T00:33:00.000+08:00

ooh dumped my blog for quite some time, i guess its time to revive it! haha, hm maybe just one post followed by weeeks and weeeks of silence. oh well, just suddenly felt like blogging? don't know, don't really have any mood to do anything right now. it's weird isn't it, like somehow you feel that some things shouldn't even have happened because they just don't fit into place, into the environment etc. i remember that day i went back to dhs on teachers' day. it was a very sudden decision la i wasnt really planning to do so but weng soon la, he kept like' begging' me to go back, even to the extent of laying red carpet to welcome me back and standing at the door gate etc. now that's amusing. somehow people changes? i still remember sitting next to him in sec one? or sec two (can't rmber la) we were ALWAYS arguing. im serious. he's always complaining about me singing and making so much noise then i was always complaining about his horrible singing and his mega serious attitude problem. haha! but i think somehow SOMETIMES we were still able to communicate quite well la, so things weren't that bad. when you leave a place, we really know who will stand by you even despite not in touch for a long time? some people were your friends because the environment made it so, like being in the same class, but after that you realise that you guys have no more relations. yet some people despite not talking for quite some time, you can still feel their presence,knowing that this special feeling will never be gone. it's sad but that's the reality isn't it? i have gotten used to forming friendships then slowly losing them due to time. it requires effort and maybe the friends i make just somehow don't really put in as much effort to keep that bond going? my primary school friends- how many am i still in touch with? none. secondary sch friends - have lost contact of quite a big group (classmates and choir mates). That's why maybe it's easier for me to adapt to new changes and surroundings because i think my past experience has taught me to just drop everything in one place and learn new stuff in the other. it's not like i do not care about friendships and stuff but when it comes to moving away and being in different environment, it's just hard. i really do cherish the friends i have of course, but sometimes some things are jsut out of your control. oh well, it's nice to see old friends back in dhs. seeing people change and grow up and sensing that you are actually growing up and changing as well. a rather weird feeling though, because you tend to rmber them when they're still comparatively childish and young. haha. so now for me, its a leeetle bit of a surprise. for some ppl, their looks may change, but they're still the same old person. like junli! he's still sooo childish and talkative la! haha but omg WHY CAN'T YOU STOP GROWING!! i look like one small midget beside you la! probably the next time i see you i will have to bring a stool and stand next to you so that i wont feel so small! haha. michelle and mingshuan are still the same (: i mean the above only applies to a certain kind of people la. ah how i miss dhs days..the friends i mean. it was a crazy period for all of us, the growing up pains and adolescent troubles, yet still present was the childish attitude we viewed things then. to think of it, we were really very stupid and childish. but i guess this is what growing up is. could only see liu lao shi la, the rest all i htink went home or something alrdy. well, she asked me a few questions which kinda really forced me to think through about things and changes. for example,
1)having any nostalgic feeling? yeah a little.
2)immune to disappointment? haha rather true.
3)intentions of returning? not sure, can't answer you.
4)happy there?hrm, well in some ways...
how i love and miss mrs wong and madamhuang!the two super nice librarians who made my librarian days so much more interesting. i love them so much! they actually played a rather big part in my decision to leave dhs, listening to my problems then, giving me really really good advice, ah i really miss them loads larh. no change to the two of them too, just that you could see them getting older, as ive said, that’s life. (:

yesterday was quite fun la, went to had lunch with jasmine and diane. It felt so good to be able to catch up with good friends. We were just chatting over lunch at deliverance. Jasmine is just really great, her views and thoughts are really mature and in a way, very very true. We were talking about how she starts to see her friends growing up and becoming more adult-like with their more serious and committed relationships, talking etc. I cant help but feel a little sad? Yeah. Like I don’t ever wanna grow up, because then I do not have to face the problems and troubles that are bugging mymind – oh those stupid typical teenage problems which you know but you just cant help it from happening- I think jasmine and her boyfriend are super sweet la! I could see from her face that she’s undergoing a lot of change and challenges, esp with her new sch and her boyfriend going off to army à the constant reassurance to show that she cares and loves him. I think she’s really great? Considering the many things she has done for him. I just really pei fu her. Well in a way she’s actually my relationship guru! Hahaha, we do sense similarities in us la, that’s why we can click and talk. She’s gone through what im going through right now and all I can say that her advice is wonderful and amazing. She’s only one yr older but she’s just really mature and I do respect her for that. (:

ah then in the afternoon went to yuanzhi’s house to do geog project and wah crapping session with ahmad and gavin, cos our group only have 4 persons and yuanzhi had tuition so left the 3 of us. It’s quite fun to talk to them without their friends la, I mean usually guys will tend to act differently when in big groups? Don’t really know la, just what I observed. Anyway ya so we talked and crapped about many stuff, like how ahmad should know girls better than girls know girls. How unlucky I am to bein the same class as gavin for the past 4 yrs. Hm I wont say that we have a really bad encounter la, just that he is super attitude and loves to talk a lot. Until now he still digs out what happened in sec 2 (the part whereby I always hyperventilate and turn super red when doing test/exams, then turn to him to demand to keep quiet) to tell people la. Urgh so annoying but heck la, I always shoot him back. Hahaha, then he ended up having nothing to say cos I always win. Ohh ya he still complained about me singing in class, then I had to shoot him back for his horrendous singing because at least I know my singing is decent enough, at least more decent and better than his! Hahaha. So the project actually turned into a talk crap session but ok la, at least we got work done and still had fun. I was actually kinda touched/ shocked/ surprised when he offered to help me carry the model down to my parents’ car seeing that my hands were filled with stuff. Ah well, my mother always say “ people will change and time will show you that they’re not as bad after all”.

I think I screwed some parts up for clovis’s recital today la! I was rather okay b4 that until *wham* on that thing itself, my voice was like shut inside, refusing to open it up, urgh so annoying la!

Anyway omgomgomgomgomg can you believe it?!! 3 more days to westlife concert!!! I think I am going mad!!!!! Ahahahahahhaha, I can’t wait for nuts! Hm maybe I’ll go use my haagen daaz ice cream voucher b4 the concert! Not a bad idea after all! Wah I think I will have withdrawal symptoms after the concert la! It’s like a once in a lifetime thingy, unless of course I go UK/Ireland and watch their performances/concerts! Haha, ok im dreaming. Ah well, the part and parcel of growing up – idolizing, having teenage troubles and problems, seeing people change and feel weird about it even though you yourself are changing too, realizing how stupid you were a few yrs back :p haha, alright then, time to go off! (im amazed that my unhappy and sad state before I started writing this entry is now gone! Ah the power of expressing!) :D

That's life

2006-08-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

That's Life

That's life, that's what all the people say.
You're riding high in April,Shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune,When I'm back on top, back on top in June.
I said that's life, and as funny as it may seem
Some people get their kicks,Stompin' on a dream
But I don't let it, let it get me down,'
Cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and outAnd I know one thing:
Each time I find myself, flat on my face,I pick myself up and get back in the race.
That's lifeI tell ya, I can't deny it,I thought of quitting baby,
But my heart just ain't gonna buy it.
And if I didn't think it was worth one single try,
I'd jump right on a big bird and then I'd fly
I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate,A poet, a pawn and a king.
I've been up and down and over and out
And I know one thing:Each time I find myself laying flat on my face,
I just pick myself up and get back in the race
That's lifeThat's life and I can't deny it
Many times I thought of cutting out
But my heart won't buy it
But if there's nothing shakin' come this here july
I'm gonna roll myself up in a big ball and die
My, My

That's life, that's life what all of us say. There's nothing more that we can do. But im not afraid to tell the whole world that i think we are the best. the best in dance, the best in acting. we have the best teamwork. we learn together as a team, we fall as a team. as mentioned in my reflection log, this is not a project, but rather a learning opportunity for us (the group of good friends) to know each other better. the experience we get, the ups and downs we faced throughout the process is something we cant exchange with anything else. we will never ever have such experience anymore. when we look back, we can be proud to say that our friendships have strengthened and we gave in our very best for this project that we have undertaken. we shan't let this affect us, "Each time I find myself laying flat on my face, I just pick myself up and get back in the race!" (: it's amazing how actually our musical is so real, the songs we sing, the lines we speak; they're like the exact representation of real life situation. first song: I dreamed a dream - we did dream about performing on stage for language arts night; second song: That's life - every bit in this song is so real, we will pull through together a group "we know we will make it, make it through!!!" (xiaoyu's line) (: 3rd song: smile - let's all smile together because we are proud of ourselves. 4th song: Ain't that a kick in the head - how lucky can all of us be, to have this chance to work and have fun together? 5th song: come what may - everything may change, but im sure our experience will never change/die (suddenly the world seem such a perfect place-(Seasons may change, winter to spring)

"See, what in life can be so bad as to make you want to drink that vile of stupid poison?" (aishah's Philip line) (: we know we have done our best, we are proud of it.
East Side Story will be in our hearts forever. (:
thank you dears for making this possible :D

it does not matter what others say, it does not matter what they do, just as long as we know it. "As the saying goes, when one door closes, two doors open!" greater things are out there waiting for us to explore!

backstabbers

2006-07-19T18:49:00.001+08:00

It's sad that there will never be a time when this world is free from backstabbing. I mean i dont see what's so nice about backstabbing people. Do YOU, a backstabber, enjoy doing this for the sake of doing it? What do YOU really gain by backstabbing people? Haha, of course i cant answer the questions. These questions can only be answered by the GREAT BACKSTABBER herself. Why make your own life so miserable by constantly comparing yourselfwith the people who are better than you? It's not wrong to want to always compete with the best, but it should be a fair and square competition. And YOU should learn when to stop to prevent yourself from getting too green eyed. And truthfully speaking, you know why you always cant get what you want? It's because you are constantly criticising the people around you, be it your good friend or your enemy. You don't learn from your mistakes and therefore keep making the same ones. Besides, you endanger your own situation and popularity by backstabbing people - cos now you're infamous for backstabbing people. Think about it. All these while, who has ever wanted to compete with you? You yourself are the one who looks at everyone in the negative manner. And to think that im so stupid to have actually forgiven you upteen times despite the fact that i know you've been doing this to me since LONG time ago. But at least i learn from my mistakes and i learn to move on. Havent you heard that to be successful, you need to learn to be generous and learn to be able to accept defeat and loses? At this rate you're going, im SUPER SORRY to say that i dont think you'll ever succeed or get whatever you want. Anyway im not going to waste my bloody time and effort trying to get back at you because i dont see a need to. Why should i be wasting my precious time on you, someone who isnt worthy of it? Besides, i dont give a damn anyway. Just being helpful, if you want to succeed, stop backstabbing people and try to improve your relationship with others. And im not sorry to say that,

SERVES YOU RIGHT

for not being able to get what you want because one day you'll learn that backstabbing is what caused your downfall.

get off

2006-07-17T11:34:00.000+08:00

sigh. sigh. sigh. my results are kinda ): i don't know, i just feel super demoralised now. though ive kinda expected it, but still, the yucky feeling of seeing e other people getting higher than you? like ive put in so much effort yet i got this ---. it's not really super bad but sigh. no mood to do anything now. at first was going to watch pirates later in the afternoon with my mum, but heck, no mood to even watch it anymore. all i want to do now is to just study and mug myself to death. i have no mood to go out anymore for the rest of the term. what;s the point of studying when u know you'll get the same result as not studying? why bother yourself with so much nonsense? it isnt fair. ARGH. its so FRUSTRATING. PLUS, with mega annoying and irritating people who makes idiotic and stupid comments, i could have just exploded any moment. why cant you keep YOUR MOUTH SHUT? and MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS?! it's not as if you have a freaking nice voice-eyucks. no one wants to hear what you have to say. YOU'LL be doing everyone a favour by just keeping quiet you pig. sometimes i hate you so much until i just feel like strangling you. just cos i never show it doesnt mean i dont feel that way. you think you;re such a popular figure that everyone wants to follow? for goodness sake, go look yourslef in the mirror and reflect before you open your big mouth and start to blab. i wish you can just curl up in one corner and die. urgh. i dont care if you're reading this or what. and im sure many people share the same sentiments as me.

if anyone is reading it, pls pardon me for this sudden outburst. it's just that i cant control and take it anymore.

13

2006-07-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

Hm should i be here in the first place? haha, don't care la.. Anyway i foresee sleep-less nights for the next two weeks ): With all the events that are coming up, AHHH, i can't help but be worried! Im like constantly telling myself "chill yeechuin, chill..don't worry" -.- so lame right. but seems like it's rather useful on me :p haha. Open house is this sat! Anyone from tj reading this, pls ask your PDP for banners k? Cos i need alot of them and if u happen to have them, just call me or soemthing or pass it to any councillor in the council room (inclsv of the 30th councillors). Friday is going to be a madmad day. (: Hm, actually i kinda look forward to open house! but i better not forget anything man... then after that will be blacklights! (:

it's a tough period but when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. we'll just do our best and yeah have fun and relax! i don't want any of my councillor to be burned out or anything, so any probs, just gimme a call (:

somehow without the stupid problem that was bugging me a few weeks ago, i kinda have more time for myself to think what i really wanna do? i suddenly realise alot of things and the list of things i wanna do is more than i can imagine. it's good in a way that, i really now know what i want, and i have more time to do them. it's this sense of satisfaction that you'll get and at the end of the day, no matter what happens, as long as you know you've put in ur effort, you shouldn;t be worried about what others might say or what you think you might have lost if you did somehting else. council all the way! yeah so im happy now (:

i love michael ballack! i love 13! that day i was reading the article regarding kahn throwing his gloves at the fans cos that was his last match saddened me sooo much )): i dunno why but i suddenly felt like crying for him then. -.- then when the papers showed ballack crying, i was also super affected by it ): aiya germany should have won lorh, its the stupid goalpost man.. ah well, the ball is round, anything can happens. but like ive said in the previous post, whatever happens, happens for a reason. you might not know the reason right now, but soon you'll understand. That stupid problem was an event that i learnt alot and im actually grateful that it actually happened. ah well, into mugging mode now! germany rocks! (:

random disappointment

2006-07-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hm, it's kinda disturbing that sometimes even the people you consider them to be one of the closer/closest to you can kinda like annoy you? Annoy may not be the correct word, but the feeling its kinda between annoy and disappoint? I dont know, but its just this irritating/annoying/disappointing feeling that i need to get off my chest. Maybe i am expecting too much. Yet you feel that you deserve better, deserve to be taken care of better, deserve to be considered with higher importance. You feel that you have done enough; you have put in so much effort without them realizing. You feel that its not fair, but has this world ever been fair? Their sudden changes (be it in terms of character/personality or mood) - you think you should be the first one to know? It's a 'mixed up-crazy" kind of feeling that is so hard to explain. I..don't know, sometimes i think its better off to live in a no man's land where you dont have to communicate with anyone or depend on anyone for anything. When there's no one around you who kinda have that kind of'responsibilities' to fulfil, you wont feel as disappointed because there's no expectations! Sigh i think im just probably expecting too much. I dont know, i really dont.

it just occured to me probably one of the reasons why i really love all those fairy-tales, cute romances with really happy endings and teen films where the girl and the guy go through hardships together and yay!live happily ever after is because they somehow seem to 'take' me away from the reality and allow me to think freely/fantasize. they kinda like represent my sort of perfect world/utopia where ppl falls in love through all sorts of cute ways which seldom happen in real life (probability of that happening in reality is HMM 1/100000? hahah) and the couple understands each other and do cute things as well. All in all, its just perfect. oh well, you cant blame me for being a sucker for cute fairy tales right? they're just so irresistable!

Hm im supposed to be studying for my maths B test..PROBABILITY of me passing is --.
I guess i'll just let nature takes its course and try not to think so much. (:

anyway, come support us if you have the time! blacklights (see the entry below)

I love high school musical!! Zac Efron is SOSOSOSOSOSO cute/hot/charming! (:

BLACKLIGHTS @ TJC

2006-07-03T17:03:00.000+08:00

COME DOWN AND SUPPORT US! Not only will you be having a great time, you are also doing your part for charity! All proceeds will go to the Straits Times School Pocket Fund. So WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?? (((:

EACH TICKET COSTS ONLY $8!

GET YOUR TICKETS FROM ME NOW!

I'LL SEE YOU ON THE 21ST JULY!

cheerios (:

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE TEMASEK ACADEMY STUDENTS COUNCIL

the answer

2006-06-26T21:08:00.000+08:00

i finally have the answer to it.

yes/no/yes/no

2006-06-23T14:46:00.000+08:00

I just cant get over the fact that there's this something out there that's probably waiting for me to give it a try. It's been bothering me for ages, and when i say ages, IT REALLY IS AGES. sigh. the dilemma. You know, sometimes i think that im some stupid ass who looks for problem, instead of the other way round. It's not really THAT bad a thing but the problems can be soo vexing and confusing that its taking up so much bloody time. I could have just ignored it and lead a more peaceful life but seems like i just cant let it go! urgh. I think by the end of this whole darnchangeifyouthinkitsgoingtobebetter thing, my lifespan would have been shortened by 5 years?? or even 10 years! ARGH. I wouldnt expect most people to understand what the hell im going through cos its a damn stupid-annoying-confusing-irritating-vexing issue that most people wont even bother to consider it (looking at the current situation). Yet its actually just a yes/no issue. AHHH i cant even decide between A YES AND A NO. what am i doing??!!! trying to repeat the bloody decision i made a few years back????????? trying to re-enact the scenes/history????!! seriously, sometimes the simplest thing can be the hardest. and the hardest thing can be the simplest. maybe i should be like those actors/actresses in the shows, take a sunflower or any flower with many petals and start peeling them off one by one -- but instead of "she/he loves me? she/he loves me not?", i can probably change it to "should i or should i not?"

sigh.

i wish i have the answer.

sigh.

it'll all end soon. SOON ENOUGH. (i hope)

done it! (:

2006-06-14T21:44:00.000+08:00

yay! ive done it! ((:

walking around singapore can be FUNFUNFUN! ive successfully walked from raffles place -asian civilisation museum - arts house - parliament house - city hall - war memorial - esplanade - merlion park - (back to arts house and museum) - fort canning park - park mall - chinatown - clark quay n boat quay - little india - farrer park - mustafa - sim lim square - bugis street - bugis junction - (took train) HOME!

YAY!! ((: although my legs nearly died on me, but its fun la. Doing it alone and doing it together with some other people can be quite different.. the first time i did it alone and it was more of like giving yourself some time with yourself (am i making sense??) and ya, just look around and its of course more quiet la. but if do it together with other people, its more fun and enjoyable (cos its not so quiet)! Haha, but it will be quite some time if im ever going to do it again (probably some other parts of singapore).. haha.. i mean walking around, talking, observing people, looking at things and taking photos! are fun! ((:

ps. i saw miss ying at the asian civilisation museum. lol. she's a volunteer there and the first thing she said was, "Whaaaat are YOU doing heree???" which is like -lol-??

new template

2006-06-07T10:14:00.000+08:00

my legs are killing me!!! imagine standing there doing absolutely NOTHING for 8-9hrs straight. -faints- but ok la, i shouldnt complain cos its easy to earn money! all you have to do is stand n stone. who will pay you just to stone man?? hahhaa.. ah well i want the paycheck! (:

super busy week i guess but im looking forward to the wedding! cos i get to wear nice shoes and nice clothes and be the bridesmaid! ((: whee` [do i sound like a bimbo here?? haha] somehow i thought this holiday's rather fruitful (though my hmwk is ---*hehe*). Working life, though im only working temporarily, is rather different from studying. You serioualy meet people from all walks of life, actually learn how to deal with a certain kind of people. It's quite amazing i think. Yet to think about it, it's rather tough as well. I mean for the other people working, they dont work FOR FUN (like me); they work for the sake of surviving and supporting their families/themselves.. Only after really understanding them will you realise how fortunate you are. Even though the work looks easy -stand there and stone-, imagine you yourself doing it for the rest of your life?????!!!! you can say that they're wasting their lives away, but what can they do? Find a new job? It's not that easy.. i did made a few friends la (a few aunties actually,lol) and from the conversation you can really feel and tell their situations.

Another thing, people seem to have this impression that only students who are poor in academics will work during the holidays -.- THIS IS SO WRONG!! urgh i get so irritated when they ask me where im studying (neighbourhood schs? sec5?!)ok, im not tyring to say that im smart or anything, but its so urgh!! And i cant flare up at them cos THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. Haha, this is seriously a test for me to train my patience... working is just so different and you'll find urself in situations you'll never expect yourself to be in. Eg, i saw MRS LOKE with her husband, mr bala with mr heng, mrs chew etc. I wonder who will i be meeting today man. haha. ah well, i wouldnt mind working during the holidays, it's kinda fun trying out different jobs to experience different aspects of life. alright then, going off now! (or not i'll be late!)
Happy holidays! (((:

ps. i have a new cherry-craze! (which explains the new template) hahah ((:

betterment through dedication

2006-05-27T21:48:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you realise that you're just a puppet being pushed around by the world.

Sometimes it's no longer there anymore....

Sometimes you question yourself, hoping and trying to find an answer..... ....... but, you just cant.

"It's not who you are but what you do that defines you."

That is an inspiration.

I'll give my best and we'll show the rest.

I guess things have changed pretty much this year, with the new 30th council in place etc. I'm actually pretty excited and looking forward to the new things coming to place! At the same time, i cant help but feel sad that the seniors are leaving. Last year seems like yesterday, when we were just receiving our badges from royston. Ah well, i guess this is life. All the best to them. now it;s time for us to move on and try to make this year a better year for all of us. One thing i;ve learnt, as long as you yourself dont lose faith, as long as you try your best to keep the flame and spirit alive, everything's going to turn out fine. i have faith and confidence. i believe tasc can do it. we can do it together. nothing;s going to stop us.. think about your epitaph. think about who you want to be. think about how you can change. we all may be small, but small will accumulate --> BIG.

betterment through dedication.

concert rocks!

2006-05-14T13:07:00.000+08:00

heyyy guyss!!! THANK YOU FOR THE CONCERT! (: tjchoir rocks rocks rocks! we rock! yay!!! reflections 7 rocks! musical rocks! ooops before i forget, thank you to all who came down and supported us! u guys rock too! thankyou tjchoir, altosection, gethappy musical,chris,jiawen,clovis,jasmine,diane,cat,louis,rayrin,weirui,eugene,everin,opy,germaine,sophia,bernard,basically everyone who was there! haha, to clovis: the dance rocks even though it was so last min! cooooooool!! uber cool! yay! to get happy ppl: thank you for the effort!im glad we all did put in our best and did not regret a single bit n enjoyed ourselves so much!we rock! to all my yr2 seniors:its the last chance to work with u guys and im thankful for that. ((:

WE ROCK! TJCHOIR ROCKS! ((: YAY!

2006-05-09T00:05:00.000+08:00

hello guys! who says i dont update huh??! hahah! ah wells, back from leadership camp! it was quite an experience for most of us i guess, not the camp activities part but rather the free time we were entitled to. i mean how many council will have the chnace of staying up sooooo late with their super nice teacher in charge who'll crap with them? ((: im really glad that this camp bonded us alot. Now it's time to maintain the bonds we have formed. it's not going to be easy, but lets not give up! :D

hm i pretty much like the camp apart from all the nonsensical 'scandals'! urgh! it's so annoying! i shant elaborate anyone of them here (hmph). i love my group! bananas rock! ((: though we are not like the 2 other grps (the 2 crazy grps) but at least i know we'll be there for one another when its time. actually i dont really like the rowdy kind of grps, cos i dunno, i guess its just my nature la. so anw juniors are fun and really nice! esp shawn! hahah! small but capable! *peifu* lets see, the Bananas consists of : me, kerry, eugene, yanting, hong yi, zenia, pei yi, kelly, nat, zhi yang and shawn! bananas rock! yay! i do see a number of really capable people who have potentail to be great leaders! (:

ah well, choir concert in 5 days' time!! ahhhhhh!! im so nervous! choreo isnt complete yet la! then our first half is short but stil not yet polished! howhowhow!! ))): im really worried! anw im so happy that jasmine is going!!!!!!! i miss her like mad!!!!!!!diane is also going too! haha havent seen her in ages! ohwells, i look forward to seeing them on sat man!
Dear readers,
pls support the tjchoir concert by buying tix from me! ((: it'll be at acs barker (concert hall) at 8pm this coming sat(13th may). please come down n support me!(us)! alright then, gtg now, loads of hmwk to do! ta-ta! cya!

2006-04-26T23:00:00.000+08:00

im bored.

oh! i've found a new goal in life! ((:

---> to be a SAF scholar(women's category)<--

i want to be an officer! yeah man!

okay, that's all. oh and pls visit my ss blog and REMEMBER TO GIVE YOUR COMMENTS.*smiles*

cheerios!

[4 more weeks to holidays. TWO MORE WEEKS TO CONCERT(ohmygosh!ahh!)]

fly--`

2006-03-31T00:44:00.000+08:00

whee`! im gonna FLY without wings![in 11 hrs time!] ((:

2006-03-27T22:23:00.000+08:00

tired. i am tired. i am sick and tired of everything. why can't this end?

updated-finally

2006-03-24T21:50:00.000+08:00

wahaha! okay, i am finally updating abt my nanchang trip! ((: but its not going to be too long cos no time! hahax. anw, SIX MORE DAYS TO COMPETITION!! OMG LA!! HOwHowHOwHOw?!SOOO NERVOUS!! what if we go there then diu lian!ahhhh!!!! hahahaha, lets jiayou bah! :D

nanchang is a nice place with nice people! (: I LOVE MY HOST CAN. HER DAD ROCKS. HER MUM ROCKS EVEN MORE. haha, no seriously, her mum is soooo funky!!!!! the way she dresses is like soooo cooool!they way she speaks is also so seh man!ohhh and the dad is really cute, not the 'cute guys' cute, but the character cute, he's so round(size) la! i simply miss the way he says '好酷哦！'. They really treat me like a PRINCESS ((: first day when we reach there right, the parents were like 'let me help u carry this, carry that, u just go and sit inside the car...' i was so embarassed lorh, i mean in singapore, your parents EXPECT you to do everything by yourself la ): haha yarh then her house is above a shopping centre in the famous shopping district! so u can imagine her family should be like damn rich. oh btw she lives in a penthouse and her dad's car is the exact same brand n model as my dad's! just that his is black colour while my dad's dark greenish blue. soooo qiao la! n even more coincidental is that my host's hand size n feet size are exactly the same as mine!!! plsss i was sooooo shockedd!!i mean i cant even find a single friend who has the same size as my so-small-hand. n to imagine that someone living sooooo far away from you has the same size?!! hahaha! n she has the same music taste as me, like the same things, have nearly the same characters, i nearly fainted when we were telling each other stuff abt ourselves. -.- hahaha! OH! then another cute thing was that the mum told me,"when you first stepped into the auditorium, instantly i knew you are the one!"wahhh!i was laughing like mad man!hahaha! as im typing this, i can still imagine im still in their house, still having that exchange programme, enjoying my time there..sighh, i really miss them la ):

So anw yarh first night was quite fun, telling each other more abt ourselves then laughing when found out so many similarities, the mum also talked to us. really good bonding time. And i became a superstar there!!!! HAHAHA! I was asked to even sign on their jackets!!! GOSH!u know how shocked i was when they asked me to do that?! i said,"HUH?!签在你的外套上？？你说错了吧？！”and turned out they were serious!so i really signed on the jackets! wah, i really basked in the glory n fame as a 'star'. come to think about it now, it's a really good experience man!It's something you will never get in singapore!they are such friendly people! Whole day give you presents, request to take pictures with you, want your contact numbers etc... wahh, actually quite funny la, i think i have very slow reaction, i always huh?!n after staring at them for like a few seconds only did i start to regain from my shocked state and smiled at them and OF COURSE said yes to their requests la, duh! hahaha! ohhh, they say im pretty!(((: (okay, this is damn ego-just ignore it if you cant take it!haha!) I do have to say that some guys there are quite cute! (tsk tsk, jst commenting, nothing more)

I can also say that ive had very extremes experiences there. the best ones are being a superstar! and being treated like a princess, taken to top and famous restaurants/hotels to eat every meal(*drools*), being able to be hosted by such a funky family with everything planned out nicely for me, a 'mum' who is able to shop as hiong as me, so she actually helped me out alot in shopping and knew what i wanted! but the other end is actuallyquite funnny if u think about it now. haha, i actually visited the hospital and so now i am an official member of the nanchang first hospital! ((: the reason of visiting the hospital: i choked on a big fish bone! hahaha! its sooo funny la! we were eating steamboat at this restaurant then i started coughing really badly. initially i even thought was some throat infection -.- after much swallowing of saliva, only then i realised that it's a fish bone. the preants started panicking la, n i was asked to drink vinegar, eat rice balls, try vomitting it out, tried all sorts of weird methods--> realised cant then had to rush to hospital cos they seldom have clinics.wahah! cos the hjospital is damn near the area so we walked there. i could still joked n laughed n talked while on the way to the hospital with the horrible fishbone inside man! i thought i was quite brave n incredible then. hahahahah. after MANY (SEE IT'S MANY, NOT ONCE OR TWICE, BUT MANY MANY)unsuccessful attempts by the doctor to extract it out, i started panicking n palms started sweating, really sweating. i could feel my heartrate increased. and after 2 more tries on top of that MANY, she FINALLY managed to pull it out. wah i was so relieved man. but we laughed it off the moment we reached home, i still said it's a dman good experience man, its a once-in-a-lifetime-thing la cos the last time i choked on a fishbone was like 8years ago?!hahaha!

ive eaten many delicacies!! ((: turtle soup (gosh, something i will never eat if im in spore cos i cant rbing myself to) but the aunty ordered for me n said its good etc, then i very paiseh if dont eat it so yarh. but it actually tasted quite nice(cos probably its the best hotel-restaurant that offers this in the whole of nanchang) i cant really rmber the rest of the dishes i tried la, but ive also tried those local food, roadside stalls(though i nearly puked cos its soo dirty that i cant rbing myself to eat). hahaha, the mum keep asking me to eat!! haha! but luckily when i told her ever since my diet, my portion is kinda small then she understands n dint keep asking me to eat more anymore! she understands leh!!!hahahaha! then when we went to the biggest supermarket, the parents were like grabbing whatever food they think i can bring back to spore la!so cool!but they insisted on paying for me!i felt really bad cos it wasnt that cheap, everything was about 200 RMB leh(though spore is like abt $40 plus), but still.. n even my shopping stuff also want to pay for me! really feeeeeelltttttt SUUUUUPPPPPERRRRR BADDDDDD!my shoes, clothes, wallet, bags, wah they keeeeep insisting on paying. but fortunately got a few times i was prepared the money n was faster than them so i managed to pay a few stuff. it's quite weird actually to see people arguing over who is going to pay and rushing not to let one another pay. hahaha. ohwell, but huihui is coming to singapore in august!!!!!!I CANT WAIT!!!I MISS HER ALOT MAN!when she comes, im going to bring her around spore n treat her like princess too! bring her to supermarket n grab whatever food i think she cna bring back! hahaha! but i really wanna repay them la, it's an act of appreciation too. (:

cant wait(: im flying off again! yay! to san francisco! hopefully can see a few real superstars there cos i heard our hotel is at the cntral district n there's some filming going on ((: wah that'll be damn cool! haha, maybe i shall be some tourguide or backpacker when i am old enough to travel on my own. travelling has always been fun n enriching. u'll learn soo many things u will never experience in singapore. like last year's turkey, ive learnt so much man. the feeling of seeing such wonderful n beautiful sceneries n monuments is just so...goood. im sure it has also improved me in terms of my character as well. just love it man. haha, san francisco is cool too! cant wait, shall blog abt it when i come back then! ((: cya guys!

2006-02-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

Yes my dear huimin and xiuqing, you two better THANK ME. i am blogging now cos of you two okay :p hahaha!

Ah well, normal sch lessons have FINALLY ENDED *thankgoodness* and it's the start of our elective weeks!yay! sounds and looks fun la, but it'S JUST THE SURFACE MAN. how can it be fun when you have to mug and study for soooo many tests!!!!!??! bleagh, shant think of such depressing stuff now, gotta enjoy first! ahaha *im being lazy thats all* Ahaaa.. tml flying off to nanchang, jiangxi (in china)! Im kinda nervous yet excited, i mean ive been really wanting to go on some exchnage programme since primary school?! haha, it's FINALLY my chance! i seriously hope everything turns out alright la, as in no misfortunes or something *touchwood*. ooh, i took like 2 days to pack my CLOTHES only -.- my mum's kinda pissed and irritated with me cos i took such a long time and i had to keep bugging her abt which one goes with which. apparently she refuses to help me pack initially , but after my constant bugging and pleading she finally had no choice but to help. i wonder if charmaine or everin got pack so many clothes, maybe im like the only with such big luggage *yikes*. ohwell, dont care la, im too xianned to repack evrything again. hope me host is nice! im like keeping my fingers crossed man, i dont want to get a boring/mugging family. then again, it's an experience lo, so i shant complain, who knows, i might like a mugging family! ((:

Aha, hopefully there;s internet access there so i can blog in china! isnt that cool! and use msn! hahaha, okay, thats sooo wrong cos im supposed to go there and 'live' a different life. ahhh im excited! i bet its going to be so fun, esp the photo taking part with charmaine, nat, pinqi! we'll have loads of pics!hahah! -.- ok,that sounds so bimbotic. ahwell, just gonna enjoy and have fun! (:

kickboxing today was a killer! i was soo tired la, hm isit cos of lack of sleep? but in any case, im sure the instructor increased the intensity lorh with all those new steps and moves and extra kicking and boxing. but it's still fun! esp when you do it together with so many other ppl! the atmosphere's so encouraging n fun whenever we shout "hoo!ha!" together,esp when we're kicking man. love the spirit! ((: okay, shant waste any more time, i MUST FINISH PACKING SOON, NOT ONLY CLOTHES, BUT EVERYTHING! hhahah, alright then! enjoy your electives dear juniors and to my sc, jiayou for the moviemania!! have faith! (: im sure it'll be a success! all the best!

ps. to huimin, AHEM do u rmber that iam going to ask u for a report of what happened during movie mania when i come back? :P i;ll be waiting for it!

birthday

2006-02-05T23:48:00.001+08:00

Yeah right, sweet 16. I dont even feel anything. I dont know what the hell is wrong with me lah.. i mean i used to get sooo excited abt my 16th birthday, yet when it's right in front of me, im actually unbelievably feeling soo sianned abt it. goodness. what is wrong with me man. instead of being the most eventful one, i think i will remember it as the most uneventful one. urgh. i dont even feel like its my bday, i dont even feel like celebrating it. tell me what's wrong man. im not excited at all! im not even looking forward! im like just taking it as any other ordinary day. i even forgot abt it until my friend wished me. so is birthday really that important? significance of it? -- just that you;'re born on that day.
what's so important abt 16? significance? --- im a year older. thats all.
sian. maybe i should just attempt to be excited and happy abt it. it kinda sucks knowing that ur bday falls on a weekday. urgh. then u cant have any party, u cant meet ur friends. )): oh well, happy birthday to me anw.